Boring existence

I found a very interesting topic called *bore* to think about (as mentioned in one of the thoughts) after a friend mentioned that he's getting bored! That set the ball rolling. Not much to do for the major part of the day, while on a vacation back home, brings him a challenge to spend time. That makes life boring, for him.

But if we dig a little deeper, we know that its not true for him alone. No, its not even true only while on an empty vacation. Lets try to see what I'm talking about. Leave aside the people who have to *struggle* to make ends meet... even for a piece of bread (not because the rules don't apply to them, but it'll be difficult to explain as well as accept facts with them as an example to start with). Barring them, consider the rest of us who can easily earn an average living in an average time, say 8-10 hrs. What do we do the balance of the day? And why do we do what we do? We do what we do, because we get bored otherwise. Some of us may say: I exist for others... plain nonsense, with all due respect. I've voiced this earlier, so I'm going to avoid the details. Now, given that we earn for our and our family's basic needs, assume that those are taken care of. What would we do then? We will do something else to *kill time*. We'd cultivate more hobbies and keep busy; for the same reasons again. Look at our retired bunch... same thing there.

Ah, you'd say we all know this.

There's a grave problem underneath all this that I'm getting at. We all *know* it, but we won't *accept* it. If we do accept it, it puts our entire life into shambles. All that we say: I earned this. I did that. Without me, where would they be? Blah, blah, blah. The fact, putting all excuses and justifications aside, is that plain living... simple existence... is boring. Life is boring. We don't know who we are, where we came from, why we are here, where we go, what we do and that bothers us tremendously. Because, not only are we unaware of these, but also have no control over these! Hah, its a cruel raw existence! To get over them, we get into relations, attachments, careers, services, hobbies, habits, religions, playing with our memory, intentionally or unintentionally forgetting ourselves, fooling ourselves, until death releases us from these bindings. Nah, I'm not getting pessimistic. If we take it for a fact and think over it, its a shocking revelation right in our faces!

The first step, therefore, is to accept that we're bound and helpless in the world, not get involved killing time, passing life in broken happiness. Then lies the solution to go beyond the world and its bindings. It all seems simple now. Surely so, without a doubt, without a regret, without a feeling, without a binding, without an attachment, without an emotion, *seemingly* ruthless, with zero patience for the world and its contents, including this body! The freedom is right here, right now!

AnandohaM AnandohaM AnandaM brahmAnandaM

For the love of Floyd

I've been meaning to write this entry since the news of Syd's death. Later, a sweet friend, Monaa (nickname), brought back memories of Floyd when she mentioned Inside Out. Says their website about Syd Barrett:

The band are naturally very upset and sad to learn of his death. Syd was the guiding light of the early band line-up and leaves a legacy which continues to inspire.

There are a lot many songs that have been dedicated to Syd by Floyd, including some just not known as they remain hidden in songs or whispered between stanzas. I just have to say one of those are these words that drive me crazy: "I'll see you on the dark side of the moon". There's something about insane psychedelics that interest me as a core subject. It just makes me wonder what Syd must've been like from their songs. There are very few bands that have such united feeling about a member, more so after they've had their own individual performances, not to mention fans. An impression thats left by a person is *felt* in their songs. That feeling, aka experience, can be guessed from what I stumbled upon few minutes back: there are/were two groups that call themselves The Pink Floyd Experience, one in Canada and the other in New Zealand, apart from over a dozen tribute bands!

I'd also like to mention that Floyd's inspired me so much that playing at least one of their guitar sequences made it as my lifelong dream (hah, hardly likely!) There have been depression times when Floyd's Coming Back to Life has been a material influence in pulling me out and taking me to heights of ecstasy. Sriram and I had avoided the next-door event at Bangalore, Roger Waters-In the flesh, back in 2002, thinking that there's no Pink Floyd without Gilmour. It sounded good in principle, of course, but we do regret it. Not only that, Roger's up live again in Bombay, almost 5 yrs thence, in a week's time; I can't go without my good ol' buddy and so I'll just use this as a reason and say, missing ya: Wish you were here!

Finally, I love Floyd, and there are no second thoughts about it!

Thoughts 50

50. I found a sudden interest in a topic called boring!

Still waters

I woke up this morning with a beautiful experience of a Vedantic example! It was perhaps biased with emotions I gathered two days back when I was facing the picturesque, soothing, Sharavati river, despite the noise from the national highway! Well, I was sitting in front of still waters, in a waking dream towards this dawn...

When the river is turbulent, the sun (or moon) *sparkles* across the waters giving thousands of reflections of the sun. It can easily be misunderstood by us to be thousands of suns! Now, that sounds impractical but thats only because we know the sun to be one; if we didn't have such knowledge, its quite acceptable a conclusion. However, when the water stills down to a complete calm, as if time itself has come to a standstill, the sun *shines* forth majestically as a reflection, in that stillness, instead of sparkling in tiny bits. That singular sun is what the Truth is all about. Then such distinction of the reflected sun and the real sun vanishes since both are equally unmoved and brilliant; the reflection merging with the real!

Similarly, when the mind is involved in worldly activities, its wavering behavior reflects the brahman in bits and pieces causing multiplicity and giving rise to individuality called the ego. The meditative stillness brought to the mind by consistency of spiritual seeking causes the reflection to be fuller, ergo, merging it into the fullest brahman.

nidrA samAdhi sthitiH

Thoughts 49

49. Maya, the more you see me, the more I want you!


Other suitable title for this blog may have well been *humbling* or worse yet, *humiliating*.

Why even the vast universe, a short visit to any govt. office will make one feel intimidated; zero value of human existence, so to say! That a person has no money to feed himself or his dependents is of no concern to the govt. dept. employee; bribe is all that he cares for! Govt. is nothing but that employee you face at their offices. Corruption, in all its forms, exists everywhere here! You name it, they've got it. If you know someone in an influential position, its just a faster way to get your work done, but not without a *fee*, of course!

I wonder if tatkaal schemes are official ways of corruption or bribery is an unofficial tatkaal scheme; none can prove the other wrong!

Just to mention what brings me to a govt office today too, where I sit and scribble these lines on a piece of paper, while waiting endlessly, is a want of certificate that I belong to a particular family. Such a certificate interests one govt dept and is issued by another. what I actually belong to is of no concern to anyone. I'm sure if we assess properly and pay the right person, they wouldn't bother giving a certificate that you belong to a family of dogs, or on the other extreme, as to those of gods!

On a related not, helping our own people get business, or forwarding their resumes to get jobs and be rewarded in return, IMHO, are also systems of bribery! In short, we all are driven corrupt, if not already so!

You may wonder, whether I like such India? The answer is I love it, despite the circumstances, since India's greatness is beyond all this; how much more itself is beyond anyone's capability to measure!

Godforsaken place

One, the institution called the govt and another, the place, inclusive of people where I stay. The catch-22 situation of wanting to get away from the people needs their assistance! Having taken their assistance, the frustration of wanting to get away from them increases!

Next, the govt dealings to get some small work moving so that the above gets done has become a project. Things that two generations before me were unaware of and that didn't bother them has come as a big hindrance to me! And that too, even after my not having any associations with this place and its people. I don't even know the family tree beyond my father in detail enough to assert that things have been messed up in govt records.

Finally, I may need to subscribe to a devil-may-care attitude and get done with, so that I let whoever needs things to take care of all that.

Off Orkut's Advaita

I recently continued my endeavor on Orkut communities; this one was formed after some missionaries started spoiling the taste of the group and wise people decided to move out forming another. Here's an interesting set of Qs someone posted there, followed by my perspective:

Q: What is sought...?
When sought, its from a duality. We seek what we are, throwing away beliefs that we are something we have identified with!

Q: Who is seeking...?
The One source seeks back Itself. In algorithm terms, its an infinite regress that could be exhaustive, but once the seeking becomes an effortless activity, its blissful.

Q: Where is the sought thing present...?
Its all that there is. But its not known till its known.

Q: What is the process of seeking...?
There are many a process; as many there are people as Ramakrishna once said!

Categorically, IMHO:

in bhakti, one submits oneself in totality to the Supreme till he becomes one with It;

in (Raja/Dhyana)Yoga, its trying to watch the experience created by some known means which is reproducible so that one can concentrate and meditate on it. (yogas chitta vritti nirodha);

in Karma yoga, one offers all the fruits to God and works without expecting results... rather, works for the sake of working;

in Jnana, its shravana, manana, nidhidhyasana. Its focusing on the seeker as the sought in manana, on what you've heard, read or felt (shravana) about the Self, till the end in nidhidhyasana for holding onto the Self! Thats when brahmavid brahmaiva bhavati!

Q: ... observing mind with mind?
Yes, there are no better tools to do so. As Ramana said its a thief acting a police. The mind cheats the mind not wanting to observe itself and creates an illusion that its seeking, at times! But its the only one that can lead to destination of suicide-of-the-mind! Its when the pyre is lit with the mind and mind offered to it!


The teaching is humble

The teaching is humble said Sw. Atmananda at Rishikesh. I recalled this statement when I was looking up Ramesh Balsekar on Orkut. I think the context on Swamiji's mentioning that was also when we were discussing Balsekar.

The advaitic teaching, believe it or not, is humble. It doesn't tag along a fanatic definition of this is how it should be.

Bhagavan Ramana put it as Be As You Are; can anything be any humbler? The beauty of advaita is that its the only philosophy that throws away all beliefs that there's a need to do a lot. Instead, it says undo everything. We misunderstand it as undoing is a big job due to our tendencies, but the best way of undoing things is to remain silent; new doings falling apart and so even the old ones!

Papaji Poonja Maharaj said Call off the search!

Thoughts 48

48. We oft make a mistake of knowing people long enough to know their flaws (and vice versa)

Thoughts 47

47. Any effort to define Truth falsifies It!