My internet blues are never ending, be it whoever the service provider. I've tried Airtel's GPRS dialups with speeds upto 40kbps through my cellphone hitting technical snags and billing issues. A weekly plan would work only 3 or 4 days, a daily plan would work at one time and not work half a day, if at all, at other times. Sometimes the daily plan would stop working at 1000 hrs the next day, and at other times anywhere between 0700-0800 hrs. But all or one of these would happen only on your activating internet for a day with an SMS message. On roaming, such a free SMS cost me Rs.18 a couple of times, which is almost same as the daily internet charge. Later, the daily plan would work for maybe more than a day at times. However, without any notice, one fine day they had changed their system to internet being active without activation! My internet usage cost me at disconnection of whatever the prepaid balance was! Or the other way round, it disconnected when they cleared my prepaid balance on a per 10KB download billing. Utter nonsense! I gave up and lost the battle.
Meanwhile, I'd moved on to Reliance USB modem with speeds upto 144kbps that cost Rs.2800 or so. That was prepaid too, but they sold me a mega-expensive unlimited plan that didn't work the first month at all. I'd lost my 1500 bucks, because they said "it should have worked, all is well at our end". When it worked the next month, with no changes on my side, it gave me speeds of 20kbps that moved to upto 80-90kbps after complaints. All the while, they had several billing issues, billing me per hour of usage, after charging Rs.1500 for unlimited usage in advance! Their technical, billing and management personnel all had varying answers such as "we do not have an unlimited plan for prepaid" after having sold it with printed pamphlets at Reliance Web World, "we have unlimited prepaid plan but its new; not everyone knows", "you're billed for data download" (on an unlimited plan, yes!), "we'll look into it", "call back in 96 hours", "there were billing problems, but we have resolved it, recharge again and check", "we can't give you refund, there's no policy like that", etc. I was spending additional money for calling them from my cell phone... over many many complaints spread over 2 months, they refunded all that I lost in duplicate deductions (except the first month's Rs.1500!!!), but deducted it all the next day. Another complaint, another 96 hrs, another response, another escalation, more calls from cell, more money lost. Again many complaints later, I told them I'll go to consumer court. They refunded the amount, accepting everything verbally a day before the month end, deducted all of it again 2 days later. Why again? Simple.. they said my refund was valid for that month only. Yes, for 2 days, the amount was valid to be used for data downloads, but that data download was already paid for that month with Rs.1500 unlimited package. So its money, available for 2days, that you can't use. I lost the battle there too, because they moved to a great policy of responding to each email and phone complaint with "billed for data charges" and never replied to what the unlimited Rs. 1500 that reduced to Rs. 999 later was for. Their definition of unlimited data downloads was a non-english set of terms that meant bill-per-hour-anyway. I couldn't win with stupidity... I gave up.
I shifted geography where we have BSNL, who are very simple, straightforward people. They give you what you ask for... well, when they want. We got our Dataone BSNL DSL connection at Vasai after around 1.5 yrs after applying for it. DoT (Dept of Telecom) had called it the year of broadband in India... I do not know what their definition of India was or definition of year was. Perhaps, they meant they would take at least a year in giving broadband to anyone in India! Well, that was before I moved here. After moving, I upgraded the account to unlimited usage, something that BSNL knows and understands better than Reliance. Well, I thought so! They moved my account from 250 bucks pm to 750 pm, added 750 for additional deposit and billed me whatever telephone calls and taxes cost last month. All settled neatly now. Again, I thought so! For some reason, the line's gone noisy and due to that its irritating to make and receive calls; the internet disconnects every five minutes for anywhere between 30 secs to 3 mins! Complaints haven't helped since 4 weeks, because they call me up asking "has the phone started working?" even if I clarify each time that the phone's working, but i) there's static on the line and ii) DSL fails every 5mins! "Okay", they say "we'll look into it". Then we're back to square one. To top that, this month, they billed me 750 for "unlimited internet usage" plus 16k (yes, Rs.16000!) for "internet usage". Interesting, very interesting. I'm sure they have an explanation for this. They all do. Its just that I will never understand. I can never win, but this time, I've some other perspective. I'll get to this soon, but before that lets take a detour to movies... yes, Office Space... I'll tie it in, believe me. Here's the dialog exchange between leads:
PETER: I, uh, I don't like my job. I don't think I'm gonna go anymore.
JOANNA: You're just not gonna go?
PETER: Yeah.
JOANNA: Won't you get fired?
PETER: I don't know. But I really don't like it so I'm not gonna go.
JOANNA: (LAUGHS) So you're gonna quit?
PETER: No, no, not really. I'm just gonna stop going.
Do you see how this ties up now? Where Office Space helps is Reliance and BSNL have one difference in their billing me nonsense: Reliance was prepaid, they had my money; BSNL is postpaid, they want my money. Here's my Office Space knowledge applied to BSNL:
me: I, uh, I don't like my ISP. I don't think I'm gonna pay anymore.
them: You're just not gonna pay?
me: Yeah.
them: Won't BSNL disconnect?
me: I don't know. But I really don't like this huge overbilling nonsense so I'm not gonna pay.
them: (LAUGH) So you're gonna disconnect?
me: No, no, not really. I'm just gonna stop paying.
Here I recall Seinfeld (The Chinese Restaurant):
Jerry: (A couple of days ago I used a public phone), go over time on the call, hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings. It's the phone company... they want more money. Don't you love this? And you got them right where you want them for the first time in your life. You're on the street, there's nothing they can do. I like to let it ring a few times, you know, let her sweat a little over there, then I just pick it up, "Yeah, operator... oh, I got the money... I got the money right here... D'you hear that? (taps on microphone) That's a quarter. Yeah, you want that don't you?"
6 comments:
I can understand your frustration over this. It was hilarious to read the blog as comparison with Office space dialogs were superb.
I had the same experience with the Reliance WiMax where it worked perfectly for 3 months [Though it had issue I had figured out some fix to work] then later came a day when at their server all my packets were being dropped! After cancellation I was receiving bill and call for the payment for the 6 months! (some time later it stopped after sending an email)
Airtel was running good for 6 months and later they introduced *fair usage policy* which is nonsense a nonsense for the so called unlimited usage. However one thing was I had changed my plan to Rs.555/512kbps/2GB plan though the usage crossed making bill amount to whopping Rs. 9k+ as per their policy only I had to pay Rs. 2.5k which was good and switched back to old 999/384kbps unlimited plan.
Except their fair usage policy I am happy with Airtel service.
Yea, I remember that Wimax thing of yours! Reliance is funny with everyone. I'd even bought their FWP for internet access of 150kps or something with a monthly charge of 1200 for unlimited usage once. The put me on hold for 20 minutes (no exaggeration there) on each customer support call and I'd questions such as did you buy the original data cable, have connected properly, etc. It worked for a few days the third month and rarely crosses 16kbps at 0300hrs during the night! Their 3month bill came together for some 4k, I returned the FWP unit and said I'll be fair and pay for what I've used. They asked me why I'd bought a 1200 commitment phone when "they did not have internet service at all till 2 months later"! Hah!
You got lucky with Airtel getting away with 2.5k bill. Out of all the crooks, I like Airtel too, at least they have service, they understand what you say and they tell you what they will or won't do, unlike others.
btw: FUP is getting universal now, only that India has pathetically low limits of bandwidth as well as upper cap. BSNL may soon follow, how soon depends on how many people work out there! :)
Mera Bharat Mahaan?
Hi Praveen,
19K OMG! Too much man, I would have almost got a heart attack had I got such a huge bill. However, if I can halve that amount, it sounded like a similar anecdote that happened to me few years ago, 2004-05 to be precise. The ISP was different though – Tata Indicom and it wasn’t a broadband but a dialup connection that promised 115Kbps (just a promise mind you, and promises are meant to be broken). Indicom had just launched at that time and I thought of cashing in on the early benefits – avoiding congestion, get some early bird discounts etc. The whole episode, however, turned out to be utterly-bitterly experience. I had to wait for 4 loooong months (and that really was long, as their pamphlets said “Get a fast speed internet connection in 10 hours, just sign a form – collect your handset – connect it to USB of your PC – surf away”). Finally when the kit arrived (after 4 months or so), containing the white coloured telephone, user manuals, battery adaptor, antenna, and cables of various kinds. All connected and I made my first call to my cell phone to check if things worked fine, they indeed were. I installed the dialer pack CD and opened the program, filled in relevant details uid/pwd and happily clicked on [Connect] button…waiting…waiting…waiting… there was teee…teee….tooo…tooo…taayyyy….taayyyy sound, the ones that D-Link modem made. Oooopppsss….this is Tata Indicom Walky – adhunik taknik ka kamaaal hai madam, there wont be any such sounds, but the wouldn’t connect, I pressed the F5 button repeatedly (more than probably US bombed Afghanistan to squeeze Russian army out – see Charlie Wilson’s War) to see the Google page open, but in vain. I finally discover that the handset is not connected to the PC – such a shame for an Electronics Engg with 5 yrs experience in IT. I looked for the USB cable – wow it wasn’t there at all, the kit had everything else, how the heck was I supposed to connect to the net. I called up the customer care and informed them about this, they told me that the USB cable is not a part of the kit and should be procured from somewhere else – where? No one knew. My wife – poor gal, had to trot Tata Indicom centres and follow up with them for getting that USB cable, finally she could source one from a centre in Kandivli Lokhandwala (we stayed in Goregaon West, we had taken Tata Indicom from Malad West…so I guess we should have thought of Kandivli as next logical guess :-]). Then finally after 5.5 months I could see the Google page opening on my then P-II PC. I used the internet for 15 days, that too the assured free surfing hours, we never used the telephone for making calls. Now the most interesting part, somewhere around April, I get bill of Rs. 9000 from Tata Indicom for Internet and telephone usage…awwwwwwwwwwwwww, my wife initially took me left & right thinking that I had got into some bad habits at night on the Internet ;-), yet finally could convince her that it’s a billing error. However, what stood next was a Herculean task – how to convince Indicom guys that there is some error on their part, no matter what they would never agree. I disputed - they argued, I made them understand – they raised their voice, I deny the usage – they come up with all sorts of proofs (spoofs actually), I stop conversing with them – they send me legal notice, I still don’t pay – they send guys to collect the handset, I give them handset – they send reminder for legal notice, I send them a counter legal notice (through a advocate friend of mine) and a consumer court case reference number, the issue gets settled at paying only the rental, I am happy – aam aadmi ki jeet. I thus learnt, the more you bend, the more they will make you break and so just defend.
Two years later, I get MTNL broadband 2Mbps speed, I am excited and I am happy till date. Auspiciously (yes, I can say that), there have never been any major issues – billing absolutely none, yes little discrepancies of sometimes server failure, patch updates etc, that’s the only down time I ever came across. They delivered what they promised. There are some intermittent problems these days but I guess that is a part of some major upgradation process – online gaming, IPTV etc, in any case as long as I don’t get 9K or 20K bills I will continue to be happy. Talking about MTNL here is something very interesting. There was some failure last year (recovered in 4 hours though), and I called up their customer care. Let me remind I had called up the MTNL customer care, don’t expect the 20 somethings to take your call and greet you pleasantly, typically the environment there would be some Sathye bai talking about some Joshi Kaku with the supervisor Tiwari shouting in the background at some linesman Dubey. Here goes the conversation.
Me: Hello Madam, Good afternoon.
Lady (40 something): Haan bola (yes tell me)
Me: My name is Amol and my phone number is XXXXXXX, I have been facing some problems with my internet
Lady: Hmmmm
Me: Can you please direct me to some technical person
Lady: problem kay jhalay, modem chya 4 light petlayt ka (what is the problem, are the 4 LEDs on the modem blinking?)
Me: Madam, sagla nit ahey, pun ping hoth nahiye kontich site, page cannot be displayed error yetoy (all is ok, but I am not able to ping any site, and I am getting the page cannot be displayed error)
Lady: modem bandh karun chalu kara 5 mintani (switch of the modem and put in ON after 5 mins)
Me: me karun pahile tey, LAN cable sudha disconnect karun parat connect keli, PC suddha restart karun pahila (I have tried that, tried LAN connection and restarting the PC as well)
Lady: Laptop vaparta ki computer (are you using a laptop or a computer) [I never knew these could be different]
Me: Uhhh…Laptop (I was totally pissed off)
Lady: Window (not Windows ok) konta ahey, 98, 2000 ki XP (which version of Windows are you using) [Bill Gates will be terribly happy that people till today still do mention Windows 98, hahahaha]
Me: Vista, Windows Vista
Lady: Visshta, navin ahey kay, tey amhala shikavla nahi ajun. Aye Pournima (or may be Premila) aplyala ajun Visshta sangitla nahiye na ajun (Vista! Is it new? It has not been taught to us yet. “We haven’t been taught Vista yet”, the lady confirmed with her fellow colleague)
Me: Ok, thank you madam
The issue somehow (I still don’t know how) got resolved after 3-4 hours automatically. It was frustrating but it was fun, I still get a brisk smile on my face and sometimes load of laughter when I remember or narrate the incident to someone, I am laughing now.
I remember one more such ISP incident, no fuss just pure entertainment. I wanted to inquire about MTNL’s wireless broadband and just one day while passing through near the exchange, I caught up with few guys working at that typical junction box, connecting wires and trying to make calls etc…I know they were not the right guys to get information about wireless broadband, yet I took some chance.
Me: Arey bhaiyya, ye MTNL ka wireless accha hai kya
Linesman: Haan, hoga
Me: Nahi matlab kuch complaints vagara
Linesman: Jidhar technical hai udhar faults aata hi hai, complaint karne wala karta hai, abi aajkal sabko kaamputer aata hai, hamara jarurat hai kisko
(O man, this guy was getting senti about his job and all, it felt to me like an American talking whose job has been just outsourced to someone in India)
Me: Nahi who security ka problems, mera connection ko dusra vaprega, ya phir mera email hack karega etc
(I wonder what he must have understood about emails and hacking etc)
Linesman: Itna tension hai to chodo na phir, hamara saadha wala bhi internet hai wo lelo, kyaa..
Me: Ji dhanyawaad
I felt like being tightly slapped, he surely must have been a Choubey, Pandey, Tiwari, Mishra..I felt like heading straight to MNS office ;-)
lol! That first incident was something that happened to me via Reliance. Same phone, chhap alag, Tata ho ya Reliance, sab Chinese raste ka maal, saste mein types. I also had that white dabba phone, which I returned. Now mind you, data cable is something that they have to know to tell you, its sold as a phone first and 115kbps is a later on business for them. :) I'd bought this data cable from grey market for around 150 bucks, while Reliance sold it for 800-900!
MTNL 2mbps, hmm, whats the charges? Unfortunately, BSNL is as much MTNL, as Vasai is Mumbai (pun intended ;) That Sathye baai incident is similar though when I cann BSNL too. I get a choice to choose a language from English, Hindi or English. All people are the same though. I tried all languages, based on my mood and mostly ended up changing the language sensing their accent as Dubey or Sathye. :)
This time when I called to complaint for excess bill, on explaining what happened, our support chap said "yeh to saraasar galat hai, aap aapke Vasai ke BSNL accounts officer ko stepwise samjhaiye". Hehehe, some confidence for me!
With those linemen, you were looking for a fight asking them about wireless broadband :) Some more Qs and you would have automatically landed in MNS office ;)
I don't know if our great linemen Pandeys, Mishras et al are trained to switch to splitters and crimping from their wire twisting, the way great Joshis, Sathes et al are trained to switch from 98 to Vissssshta. lol
Recall Murphy's law here: if all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail! :)
PS: 98 was a less stupid OS of MS and yes, ppl do use it still! hehe ;)
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