"My intentions were good"

Hari Om

How many times have we heard ourselves or others mutter "my intentions were good"? Or something like "I meant well", "I didn't mean any harm", etc? Plans that start off well and yet tumble down the path are commonplace. There are some that end the way they started, but they are rare. Ones that announce that that's what they meant to do are almost always changing the blueprint itself as things take shape themselves! Priorities change, plans adapt; circumstances drift, plans shift. Sometimes, these things happen knowingly. At most others, however, its an unknown move, a slow but continuous change, that eventually leaves you somewhere you didn't intend to be, never imagined you'd end up. But then, if you know it, you just think "that's life" and move on; or move further away, as the case is more likely! That's to say, we all live on hope. Many people shift to "self-help" books, go optimistic and live on the edge of their lives. They become "all wise", so to say. Hey, whatever works, right?! Then again, in one satsanga, I heard that one of the bestselling authors of such a book, one who would guide others on how to live well, successfully, or what have you, ended up committing suicide!! Well, that's self-help for you (sorry, pun intended). Let's get back to what I intended in this post, else like all other plans, I'm drifting. :)

Why this pessimism, you ask? It isn't; this is what optimism looks like, when stripped off all its shiny advertisements, the bare naked realism. We are all born intending to do well, progressing on our journey towards the Ultimate Truth. Now, ask yourself if a bunch of lies can lead you to truth, let alone the ultimate one. Its better to accept that we drifted in this life too, driven by ego, having been born committing to do our sAdhanA, but finding ourselves amid circumstances that we can't disentangle ourselves from. We find our immediate surroundings dependent on us for their survival! We go from our individualistic goal, a reason for which we are born, a journey we started all alone, one that would end all alone, to one that we convince ourselves is a life doing good for others.

Let me change gears here and try and tie in all that's scattered above into a singular idea. This very intending to do good is rooted in ego; well, not necessarily good, but doing anything is rooted in ego. All plans pop-off the ego and grow into an endless blackhole swallowing up as much as they can, voraciously, till there is nothing left to swallow or its too late for you to rollback. Planning ahead in life is being secure, yes; but, in spirituality, planning ahead is giving life to time! Left to itself, time is a non-existent nothing or it soon collapses so when you pull back your ego from the tomorrows. The same is true with the past, when you think back on the happenings around you and announce "my intentions were good". You give life to time! The now-ness in time is not of the time, but it is despite it. All the pre-meditative exercises up and until Maharshi Patanjali's dhAraNA are to bring steadiness in focus on now-ness. That is, the current, the now, the one and only truth there always is. This dhAraNa when it becomes tailadhArAvat (like the steady flow of oil), becomes dhyAna. Yes, it becomes so, its not a doing. One intends to concentrate and it becomes meditation; a rare but a sweet drift of plan! This fructifies into samAdhi when you're ready to drop all your plans of all your lives; a true goal that you're born for, then you'll have reached.

om tat sat

Now, it makes me wonder, though I planned this blog as *anything wise*, has it shifted its base to *otherwise*! :)

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