Where they meet

There are so many incidents in life that are seen as disparate happenings but after a period of time, suddenly one day, make much sense... they all fall into one single perspective; it feels then that parallel lines do meet into that seeming infinity! Here's one such experience I gathered last week...

I started going to Puttaparthi for Sai darshan around 1997 while I was still at Bombay. After shifting to Bangalore, during the past few years I started feeling my bhakti towards Hanuman and I started my prayers in whatever small capacity it was possible for me. Around the same time, I chanced upon Sridhara Swami books and his guru Ramdas Swami's too. I was also getting my inclinations towards Mount Kailash stronger by the day. On my path, I also picked up Bhagavan Ramana's blessings. There were quite a few other followings I have made, but these are the ones that gel together in some form although truly different paths. How so, one may wonder, apart from the advaitic feeling!

That Satya Sai is a Shiva avatar is quite well-known. Hanuman, being rudra-rupa, is Shiva too. Sridhara Swami is an incarnation of Hanuman and so is Ramdas Swami. Mount Kailash is Shiva's abode, while Ramana Maharshi is Arunachala Shiva, personified. Well, thats that.

shivam shaantam advaitam


Beyond the senses
Away from reach
Lies that core
And even more

Beyond unthought depths
Away from mind's peek
Lies the peace
That I seek

Beyond the yore
Away from morrow
Lies eternal bliss
Amidst joy and sorrow

Beyond the noise
Away from verbose gauge
Lies supreme silence
The only page

Beyond a separate you
Away from ego's me
Lies it all
Thusly we can't see!

Thoughts 10

10. The impermanent not-Self is non-sense and the permanent Self is not-sensed.


The self-illumed Self
Akin to a countless odd suns!
Shows light to the world
And shadows form at once

The world seen in this light
Is not That to find
Nor is It the shadow
Due to the clouded mind

The appearance of others
within or without
Is by a false ego, seen
Separate from the Scout

The feeling of the void
May scare, soothe or skew
But it is not the end
Just One's point of view

Yet the senses play a fool
And until they so do
This world will remain
As its for me... and for you


Today, a meaningful forward came into the mail with the link of Paritrana and some related news. I, for one, am excited about the idea. That they are factually trying to put principles into practice means a lot to me. That Indianness, out in the open to act, unlike most of us who talk about it, should be encouraged. In what way is for each of us to decide.

Some might say its too much of a theory, but I think its still worth the effort. Trying to hit perfection is a quality of most, but not wanting to do anything if one can't be perfect is also true with most! I hope that we all improve our ideologies towards the benefit of the nation, atleast from this republic day of ours.

So here's wishing Indians a happy republic day in advance.

vande maataram

What if...

(This is an experience from more than six months back... I'm trying to gather what happened)

I was on the edge
The cliff that ended there
A step more from then
Unto God knows where

It was a tunnel
Deep, dark and endless
Still leading into light
My only hope out of the mess

What if I'd taken that?
The path having no binding
The one that turns no more
Would I then be hiding?

This very thought
Held me from going ahead
Since then I've drifted more
Into the laziness of the dead

Was I scared?
I know not for sure
What I do know is I stumbled
And returned back to the lure!

It was a clue
Of the Truth forthwith
Yes, the only way to live
Wasn't just another myth

Quote unquote 13

13. If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid immense confusion? --Seng-Ts'an
My take: If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail --Bernard Baruch

Thoughts 9

9. Déjà Vu is life's boomerang

Thoughts 8

8. Later's gonna be a different story anyway, I live in the now.

Another rambling

When people ask me how I am, I usually tend to reply "I'm alive". Most of them think its a negative answer, while I don't. If I say "I'm alive and kicking", they would feel happy about it, perhaps! I'd rather say, "I'm alive..." and if you care for a joke, I don't mind adding "... and life's kicking me" :)

Call it a confession or justifying the unobvious, hard-to-digest, actions of mine, I try to keep alive in the material life. Its a difficult balance, but if one doesn't do that, he can't stick on to the routine. Then, one might as well quit everything, take sannyaasa and get away from the society!

I've to spend six odd months with this job of mine, before I walk out to find something peaceful. My guess on whether I'll be able to do that is as good as anyone else's. Till that time, I'm trying to be self-motivated. Also I'm trading cars to save money, invest and survive. While at that, I love driving the Opel and thats that. People think this is against "spiritual inclinations", while I don't... unless one's addicted to these material traps!

Tomorrow's gonna be a different story anyway, I live in the today :)

Thoughts 7

7. Silence is "easier said than done", although not easier "said" than done.

[I'd like to give credit to Karthik who noticed the subtle humor in the first half, that led to the complete one]

Thoughts 5-6

5. Knowledge lies in unlearning
(... the false)

6. (Corollary) Unlearning is more difficult than learning

Thoughts 4

4. Faith is always blind; even logic is faith
(... in the logic; ad infinitum)

sandhyA: vandanA guru ki

भस्म धारणा , तुम्हारे चरणों की धुल का तिलक
आचमना, तुम्हारा तीर्थ प्रसाद 

प्राणायाम, हवनों का अर्पण 
ध्यान, दर्शन तुम्हारा 
जप , तुम्हारा ही स्मरण 
अर्घ्य , है कवच और आशीर्वाद

Thoughts 0

(I started the Thoughts series a few days back, but forgot the first; so here it is the C-way)

0. The world is only thought deep.


The return to ab/normalcy, be it for whatever reason or lack of it, feels good. This happened last weekend when I was trying to analyse what is it that hurts and why is it that it does so. Or does it... at all? I don't know if I concluded but I do know that as much as elated phases of life help spiritual progress in the act of witnessing at one end, so do depressions at the other end of the spectrum! Needless to say, every other feeling is covered between them.

However, its also a fact that if all of these help the progress of a spiritual aspirant, they also serve as potential emotional traps.

Interestingly, its also true that what might seem emotional depth from outside to others, may not so feel at all to the enquirer, for whom, even progress is a full stop; and yes, a full stop a progress too!

Award-winning stupidity

Bangalore's traffic is managed by a bunch of jokers who have, in their infinite wisdom of course, blundered to create the worst-ever solution to a non-existing problem: a traffic signal on a flyover (Richmond Rd)! Ridiculous, but its true. I forgot to blog this a few months back when this stupidity was commited, but yesterday I went through a serious aftereffect of that. Its no longer a joke that you can laugh at; its pain in your already pinching traffic. Its an insult to the company that built the flyover!

I struggled through a bumper-to-bumper (what seemed like a bumper-on-bumper) traffic on the flyover, for half an hour. The "traffic police" were manhandling the problem that they created in the first place. After I got down the flyover to convince myself of "end of trouble zone", the barricades used as lane dividers (???!!!) soon corrected me by being on the road since it makes bikers' lives easy to switch directions of travel!

One day I'd seen a car taking, kind of a -- hold your breath now-- U-turn on the flyover from KH Rd to Mission Rd!!!!! Till some days back, I used to really laugh at all this having no option then. I think I should just continue laughing since I don't have an option now either... :)

Easier machines

I have always loved my part of life working with machines: be it biomedical equipment, other electronic gadgets, bike or car.

A few years back when I lost my sandals in the crowded temple on a festive day, I was soaking drenched from the downpour while riding my bike. On the way back home, changing gears on the Fiero barefoot drew an awesome relation, rains hardly mattered! It was like *feeling* the bike instead of just riding it. It was a completely different story then on... it was like talking to a close friend than just blabbering all over the place. It was like we understood each other! I tried this for a long time on the Wagon-R too and of course, it worked there. It left me with a little difficulty to wear shoes and drive later though!

That machines make better companions is an earlier conclusion from my working with L&T Medical. I'd refused to shift into marketing for more reasons, but one major point was not wanting to give up the technical relation.

Its much easier to associate with machines than with humans. (Perhaps, thats the reason, I'll always remain an engineer in some form even if I deny it!) Now, to think of it, don't people get pets for the exact same reason? Just a thought!

Hats off to the Germans!

Before anyone starts guessing stuff, I'm praising the attitude of the German engineering. Yesterday, finally, my dream came true: I bought a 1997 Opel Astra! The first page of the car's manual is a how-to on "Environment friendly driving".

I always wanted to own an Opel for atleast a while. I wasn't ever budgeting for a Skoda Octavia, but I'd thought of Opel Corsa earlier. After having driven Rag's Corsa... the "achtung baby", I wanted more and Astra gives more, so there! :)

(My Wagon-R is up for sale, but as on today, I feel *rich* owning two cars (... er, and a bike ;)

Thoughts 1-3

1. Death is the only truth of life.

2. (Corollary) Life is a state of the mind.

3. The past is lost.

Quote unquote 11-12

11. The obstacle is the path --Zen saying (quoted by Harish)
My take: (And) The journey is the reward --Steve Jobs

12. Be kind whenever possible. Its always possible --Dalai Lama


Life never fails to surprise me... nay, shock me with its setbacks. Every such event is harsher than the earlier one and if you haven't learnt from the previous event to make yourself a little stronger, then you're shattered. Not that otherwise, things don't hurt at all; they do. But they're just lessons. They're things you "pass through", to express in words borrowed from Smita.

Every time anything like that happens, I break my head and cry my heart out, until I realize I've lost all that I've got to lose: nothing!

Goodness gracious!

Needs and wants

Wants, not needs, make life tick. Needs are barely food, clothing and shelter for survival. What we all need more than that are not needs, as they're projected; they are wants! Now what are needs needed for anyway? To stay alive, right? But there's more than staying alive to life and thats where we trap ourselves. What the heck am I talking here? I'll try to clarify. What I'm going towards is whether there are bigger wants that make up craved desires or even needs are desires!

They say that lusting for the opposite gender is the biggest craving for anyone. Call it a basic animal instinct. But is it really true or is it make believe? Its easier to say that thats how God meant it to be or thats how everyone is. All that is mere hoot, nothing else. Imagine a person on his/her deathbed fighting to survive in the peaks of young age. Can such a person lust? No. S/he's busy loving life... wanting more life. Agreed, if there's more life left, one might still lust! But all that lust, need, want, etc is over the basic substratum of craving-for-life!!! First and foremost love of a person is one's own life. This life gives out many other things much later.

Wanting to help others, or to set a free country and all that there is to call selfless service too, comes only if the person performing the service is alive. That being alive is the love of life. Thats the first habit of man. Thats the first craving. Thats the first want. Thats the first need. It could well be the last one too... only if we knew that there's no craving for anything if there's no craving to stay alive! No, I'm not talking suicide here. All I'm saying is fear of death causes love for life. Love for life causes many other endless needs and wants that one realizes close to death to be of no value. Thats a shame!

Switching moods, am I?

I'm tired of talking, trying to justify all sorts of things using all sorts of nonsense to all sorts of people. I give up. More than one friend has suggested in this week: "These things are best left undisclosed". I think my publicizing worked against me; I should've known better than risking less. I should have risked nothing or everything. There are no calculated risks in life... an engineer knows how calculations never tally in practice... moreover, in the end, one surely makes losses!

My current mood is expressed best by one of U2's song:

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name

Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name