Since a year there has been lot of news about India catching up to speed with passport issue. From the earlier 45-60 days for a fresh passport, they said most offices had upgraded themselves to computer-assisted passport offices and so, the lag had come down to 14 days. Now if you read the fine print, or no print in this case, it is clear that there are at most a few Indian cities that follow this so-called fast process. On top of that, Indian passport office website carries tatkaal option, albeit available at select offices. Having seen Thane under that select list made me happy some time March end. Under that scheme, a reissue of a passport would be done in 3 days! I couldn't believe my eyes. It was too good to be true.
In any case, I read up all that there was to be to read about such reissue process and also what need be done for tatkaal process. I even wrote to the Thane passport office and heard back from them asking me to apply online. The website also says that applying online for the passport will give you a date and time of appointment due to which you'll be saved of the time to wait in long queues waiting for token. So what I did is apply online, take a print out of application, get all documents ready, old passport, its copies and the tatkaal documents: Annexure I [standard affidavit that cost me 400 bucks thanks to notarized crooks here :) ] and more than the 3 required proofs, 1000 bucks for fees and 1500 more for tatkaal. I thought its still worth it if I don't have to wait for 45-60 days.
I expected to come back home for lunch on the said day having been given an *appointment* at 1000hrs at Thane passport office, which was also printed on my online application. To my utter shock, I was told in their enquiry counter to stand in a queue, take a token and wait for the number to submit my application. There were tons of people doing just that, some with online application, some with manual application and yet some more who were buying the application forms there and filling it. All were in the same freaking queue! So much for "apply online, avoid queues" crap by our govt offices. Much past noon, I hit the scrutiny counter. The moron who was to scrutinize my application told me that I can't get a tatkaal reissue. On asking why not if I had the affidavit and more than all the required proofs as per the website FAQ, he told me "passport valid tar pahije" (your passport should be valid)! If my passport had been valid (not expired), why would I apply for reissue??? Is that so difficult to understand? Moreover, he asked me if I wanted the affidavit back. When I told him its no use elsewhere, he gave me the affidavit back saying "you can use it somewhere else". Where can you use an affidavit that says "Standard affidavit for passport"? :) I suppose thats what you get in hiring people under reservation schemes.
I returned home thinking how I wasted 500 bucks for paperwork for tatkaal, but then calmed down thinking I saved 1500 bucks. Now I wait in eternity for police to call for verification, pay their "fees" and someday get my passport. I realized if its too good to be true, perhaps it is.
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Showing posts with label India. Show all posts
Many Biharis understand democracy
Many Biharis know their rights very well in democratic India. They know that rights are of the Biharis, by the Biharis and for the Biharis. Simple. If you need to travel, travel. No preparation, money or tickets are needed. You just need to decide the mode and day of travel and you're done. Tickets are meant for losers, who do not know what democracy is. There are also other set of losers who do not allow Biharis to use their rights, thereby inviting a ridicule at best, an attack at other times.
Recently, some officials tried to act smart and asked these fellow citizens for tickets in a reserved compartment! We don't know what exactly transpired between them, but since these Biharis knew their right-to-travel, they weren't pleased to being objected to traveling without tickets. What we do know is that they exercised their other right: right-to-burn and soon the bogies found themselves burning as they deserved to be.
Vande Mataram! Jai Hind!
Recently, some officials tried to act smart and asked these fellow citizens for tickets in a reserved compartment! We don't know what exactly transpired between them, but since these Biharis knew their right-to-travel, they weren't pleased to being objected to traveling without tickets. What we do know is that they exercised their other right: right-to-burn and soon the bogies found themselves burning as they deserved to be.
Vande Mataram! Jai Hind!
The Freedom Dip
It all started during our first Himalayan trip in 2005, when we drove and trekked to Yamnotri and the itinerary got sync'd up so as to get our Ganga or Yamuna dip on Independence day. The next year, we chalked out a plan to trek Gangotri-Gaumukh-Tapovan and got our Ganges dip around 15th Aug again. Somehow, since then, its almost become a ritualistic routine to take a symbolic independence day Ganges dip in the Himalayas-- mostly Rishikesh-- every year! Since Sriram was out of India for a while, I took those dips on behalf of both of us the past two years, if not on 15th, centred around it less than a month here or there. I've termed this as "The Freedom Dip" now.
Unfortunately, this year, a lot of things have gone wrong though the freedom dip was initially planned. There was Gujjar community issue, followed by foggy airports, issues with rain-- flooding at first on railway tracks and then to country getting into drought now, a swine flu scare around us restricting travel, and finally, 15th Aug intelligence report warnings of terrorist attacks! All these have had an impact on working out a feasible travel plan up north for the celebrated dip. It deeply saddens me that the call to Rishikesh hasn't come through this year, but I do hope that I can postpone the same and take it sometime soon. And while I'm hoping, on "a great day for freedom", I'd rather hope that Sriram and I get to take this dip together instead of me alone!
Then again, like other things, all in good time...
Unfortunately, this year, a lot of things have gone wrong though the freedom dip was initially planned. There was Gujjar community issue, followed by foggy airports, issues with rain-- flooding at first on railway tracks and then to country getting into drought now, a swine flu scare around us restricting travel, and finally, 15th Aug intelligence report warnings of terrorist attacks! All these have had an impact on working out a feasible travel plan up north for the celebrated dip. It deeply saddens me that the call to Rishikesh hasn't come through this year, but I do hope that I can postpone the same and take it sometime soon. And while I'm hoping, on "a great day for freedom", I'd rather hope that Sriram and I get to take this dip together instead of me alone!
Then again, like other things, all in good time...
Let the sun shine
On this occasion of the longest solar eclipse of the century, I woke up to my sAdhana and had a blog coming to my mind. This one is about that series of thoughts that occurred to me in my morning oblations to the sun. A solar eclipse is supposed to be an auspicious time for religious and spiritual pursuits since it brings more fruits than other regular times. Its a time when people take a holy dip in the rivers around India and take to mantra japa or such.
Be as it may, grahaNa or eclipse has a different meaning for me. The sun being hidden by the moon to make it disappear from the earth's vision is of a deep philosophical significance. It has a hidden spiritual import; the prayers do too. Its a time for us to pray and ask the Sun to shine and bring us out of the darkness that moon has caused us to be in. The moon has not affected the sun, but only us earthlings. One is blinded by the darkness of ego and cannot see the Self. In other words, jIva is blinded by an ashuddha antahkaraNa that cannot shine the reflection of the Atman just as the moon doesn't shine anymore during the eclipse as we can see only the dark side of it.
As the chitta cleanses itself of all the dark habits, the Atman shines again as a reflection, at first in the antahkaraNa and then as the reflection itself burns the dust off the chitta, the Atman shines brightly, swallowing all the darkness there ever was. The sun alone remains when seen at directly, even with closed eyes. Wherever you look then, the sun will appear in bright spots on the vision elsewhere. That Atman once looked at directly (that is,by shravaNa, manana and nidhidhyAsana) too will appear in all our vision.
The prayers during the eclipse are really prayers for us to see that Sun which shines even during the nights, even in our deepest of sleeps; that Sun is the Self. The eclipse to get over is a wait for moksha. The moon covering up the sun is a natural occurrence, just as day-to-day things cause darkness in our lives. And this, my friends, doesn't happen to just you and me. Since its a karmabhoomi, - this Earth is - it occurs to anyone born here in any form. It happened to Bhagavan Rama as well!
As the legend goes, Rama was upset about his failing triumph over Ravana. Thats when Rama prayed to Agastya Rishi and took the upadesha on prayers to the sun, which came to be known as Aditya hRdayaM. Since time immemorial, stories in India are made in such a way that the meaning is applicable to daily life as it appears on the face of it, as well as containing a hidden teaching that will open up and become sAdhaka's tool during manana! Surely, this hymn helped Rama know the Truth and win over Ravana in the battle that followed thence.
The last two stanzas of Aditya hRdayaM go thus:
esha supteshu jAgarti bhUteshu parinishThitaHesha evAgnihotraM ca phalaM caivAgnihotriNAm (A.H. 23)
Salutations to the Lord who abides in the heart of all beings keeping awake even when they are asleep. He is both the sacrificial fire and the fruit enjoyed by the worshippers thereof.
vedASca kratavaScaiva kratUnAM phalameva cayAni kRtyAni lokeSu sarva esha raviH prabhuH (A.H. 24)
The sun is indeed the Lord of all action in this universe. He is verily the Vedas, the sacrifices ordained therein and the fruits thereof.
bhAskarAya namonamaH
Be as it may, grahaNa or eclipse has a different meaning for me. The sun being hidden by the moon to make it disappear from the earth's vision is of a deep philosophical significance. It has a hidden spiritual import; the prayers do too. Its a time for us to pray and ask the Sun to shine and bring us out of the darkness that moon has caused us to be in. The moon has not affected the sun, but only us earthlings. One is blinded by the darkness of ego and cannot see the Self. In other words, jIva is blinded by an ashuddha antahkaraNa that cannot shine the reflection of the Atman just as the moon doesn't shine anymore during the eclipse as we can see only the dark side of it.
As the chitta cleanses itself of all the dark habits, the Atman shines again as a reflection, at first in the antahkaraNa and then as the reflection itself burns the dust off the chitta, the Atman shines brightly, swallowing all the darkness there ever was. The sun alone remains when seen at directly, even with closed eyes. Wherever you look then, the sun will appear in bright spots on the vision elsewhere. That Atman once looked at directly (that is,by shravaNa, manana and nidhidhyAsana) too will appear in all our vision.
The prayers during the eclipse are really prayers for us to see that Sun which shines even during the nights, even in our deepest of sleeps; that Sun is the Self. The eclipse to get over is a wait for moksha. The moon covering up the sun is a natural occurrence, just as day-to-day things cause darkness in our lives. And this, my friends, doesn't happen to just you and me. Since its a karmabhoomi, - this Earth is - it occurs to anyone born here in any form. It happened to Bhagavan Rama as well!
As the legend goes, Rama was upset about his failing triumph over Ravana. Thats when Rama prayed to Agastya Rishi and took the upadesha on prayers to the sun, which came to be known as Aditya hRdayaM. Since time immemorial, stories in India are made in such a way that the meaning is applicable to daily life as it appears on the face of it, as well as containing a hidden teaching that will open up and become sAdhaka's tool during manana! Surely, this hymn helped Rama know the Truth and win over Ravana in the battle that followed thence.
The last two stanzas of Aditya hRdayaM go thus:
esha supteshu jAgarti bhUteshu parinishThitaHesha evAgnihotraM ca phalaM caivAgnihotriNAm (A.H. 23)
Salutations to the Lord who abides in the heart of all beings keeping awake even when they are asleep. He is both the sacrificial fire and the fruit enjoyed by the worshippers thereof.
vedASca kratavaScaiva kratUnAM phalameva cayAni kRtyAni lokeSu sarva esha raviH prabhuH (A.H. 24)
The sun is indeed the Lord of all action in this universe. He is verily the Vedas, the sacrifices ordained therein and the fruits thereof.
bhAskarAya namonamaH
Hats off to BSNL jokers!
I returned home after a gap of almost a month, which means my internet was untested all this while. I've voiced earlier of the painfully incompetent services of BSNL broadband and thirdrate Chinese modems of theirs.
This time around, I was not getting many ADSL failures like earlier, but DNS failures. I'd set the DNS to opendns and tried. Then DDNS. Then static DNS IPs. And of course, auto discovered ones too. Well, I tried everything that there was to try with DNS, including putting my own DNS cache on the laptop. I still get DNS failures. Forget technicality, lets get to discussing the unique BSNL support...
Three days back, I called my local BSNL JTO who, on complaining, went on so:
JTO: Do you use Windows Vista?
me: No Sir, I use Ubuntu Linux now.
JTO: Saheb, we know nothing about Linux.
me: (pissed off) Why does that matter? I can log onto your modem and test it and see failures. ADSL passes, ATM OAM segments pass. DNS fails.
JTO: DNS will pass only if you can connect and login. So it can't be DNS problem.
me: Thats what I'm saying; everything passes, DNS doesn't. This thing's happening since the past 3 months and the BSNL DNS servers are almost always down.
JTO: Oh, I'll give you a no. call there, we can't do anything about DNS issues.
I take the no. and try endlessly to get through and finally I do after half or one hour. They listen to everything and I hear in the background someone saying "Ask him to complain in writing". The fella says that his Saheb will call back! Of course, no one does. Their own phones are out of order when I try again!
I'm back to my local JTO now some time back and this is how that went:
me: Saheb, namaskar. I called up three days back regarding a DNS problem and your people said they'd call back. They didn't.
JTO: I gave you that no. because we can't do anything abt DNS stuff. If its username issue, ADSL not "glowing", we can look into.
me: Sir, I think its the issue with the modem now. I've tried everything and now I do suspect the modem.
JTO: It can't be the modem. It just communicates. Thats all.
me: (huh!) The modem may have some cache/ memory issues and overflow errors because it conks off every 15 mins and works on reset again and DNS workaround settings for another 15 mins.
The JTO gets into warranty talk and all that. Then this happens:
JTO: Do you have a laptop?
me: Yes.
JTO: I don't have a computer here. If you're free, get your laptop here. You don't need to bring the modem, I've plenty. What I'll do is hook you up to your line here, you can login and test here. You'll know if its a modem problem. I'm here in office today.
me: (what the heck!) Yes, yes, I'll call up and come over. Thanks a bunch, Sir.
JTO: Thank you, saheb.
I'm banging my head now. I got an unpaid job offer from BSNL to check and troubleshoot my BSNL broadband for which I pay and they get salaries! BSNL has awesome and one-of-a-kind support, won't you agree? BSNL zindabad. Since then, I've tried calling and surfing for an option to BSNL broadband and of course, failed, thanks to godforsaken place called Vasai. :)
This time around, I was not getting many ADSL failures like earlier, but DNS failures. I'd set the DNS to opendns and tried. Then DDNS. Then static DNS IPs. And of course, auto discovered ones too. Well, I tried everything that there was to try with DNS, including putting my own DNS cache on the laptop. I still get DNS failures. Forget technicality, lets get to discussing the unique BSNL support...
Three days back, I called my local BSNL JTO who, on complaining, went on so:
JTO: Do you use Windows Vista?
me: No Sir, I use Ubuntu Linux now.
JTO: Saheb, we know nothing about Linux.
me: (pissed off) Why does that matter? I can log onto your modem and test it and see failures. ADSL passes, ATM OAM segments pass. DNS fails.
JTO: DNS will pass only if you can connect and login. So it can't be DNS problem.
me: Thats what I'm saying; everything passes, DNS doesn't. This thing's happening since the past 3 months and the BSNL DNS servers are almost always down.
JTO: Oh, I'll give you a no. call there, we can't do anything about DNS issues.
I take the no. and try endlessly to get through and finally I do after half or one hour. They listen to everything and I hear in the background someone saying "Ask him to complain in writing". The fella says that his Saheb will call back! Of course, no one does. Their own phones are out of order when I try again!
I'm back to my local JTO now some time back and this is how that went:
me: Saheb, namaskar. I called up three days back regarding a DNS problem and your people said they'd call back. They didn't.
JTO: I gave you that no. because we can't do anything abt DNS stuff. If its username issue, ADSL not "glowing", we can look into.
me: Sir, I think its the issue with the modem now. I've tried everything and now I do suspect the modem.
JTO: It can't be the modem. It just communicates. Thats all.
me: (huh!) The modem may have some cache/ memory issues and overflow errors because it conks off every 15 mins and works on reset again and DNS workaround settings for another 15 mins.
The JTO gets into warranty talk and all that. Then this happens:
JTO: Do you have a laptop?
me: Yes.
JTO: I don't have a computer here. If you're free, get your laptop here. You don't need to bring the modem, I've plenty. What I'll do is hook you up to your line here, you can login and test here. You'll know if its a modem problem. I'm here in office today.
me: (what the heck!) Yes, yes, I'll call up and come over. Thanks a bunch, Sir.
JTO: Thank you, saheb.
I'm banging my head now. I got an unpaid job offer from BSNL to check and troubleshoot my BSNL broadband for which I pay and they get salaries! BSNL has awesome and one-of-a-kind support, won't you agree? BSNL zindabad. Since then, I've tried calling and surfing for an option to BSNL broadband and of course, failed, thanks to godforsaken place called Vasai. :)
The lost horizon of the emperors (by R. Vaidyanathan)
A must read article for everyone is here as published by Indian Express on 21st June 2009. The copyright is as mentioned in the link.
At every seminar on financial matters these days, there’s one question that lingers — even during the coffee breaks: will the economy recover, and when? And, it isn’t about the Indian economy but that of the US. I reiterate it will take at least 40 quarters — that’s a decade — for America to recover. I tell this, and am shunned — like a swine flu patient.I still maintain the US is going the banana republic way what with a national debt of more than $10 trillion, which is more than 80 per cent of its national income. Not only that the budget deficit is skyrocketing; it’s expected to reach more than 10 per cent soon. Last year, the US financial regulatory agencies came up with plans of financial support worth $6.8 trillion — comprising temporary loans and liability and asset guarantees. And by the third end of the first quarter of 2009, the financial support programmes reached $13.9 trillion.The federal deficit as percentage of GDP is now expected to reach more than 10 per cent. There will be furious printing of more treasury bills and notes. The expected inflation is going to rip apart the society and the largest selling item in the last quarter was handguns and rifles. Already intriguing reports have come about attempt to smuggle more than $134 billion in treasury bonds by two Japanese citizens through the Italian border into Switzerland. It could be a ploy by CIA or really a daredevil act by some foreign government to destabilise the global financial system. I am waiting for the creditrating agencies like S&P to downgrade the US economy like other developing countries and prove their independence from the sole superpower. High hopes. Angus Maddison in his pioneering work for OECD on the global GDP share for the last 2,000 years has brought out an interesting fact pertaining to India and China. As early as the 1820s, China (33%) along with India (16%) and other Asian countries had a share of more than 55 per cent in the global GDP. By the late 20th century, it has declined to 29 per cent. The China percentage slid to 12, India’s to 5.In the next 20 years, India should plan to have a share of at least 30 per cent of the global GDP. These imply that India should be racing ahead. If India grows at 8 to 9 per cent in the coming decade, then it can become the world’s third or fourth superpower.But it also implies that, parallely, the West should decline in terms of their importance in the share of global GDP and world affairs.Since the total is 100 per cent, any increased share for India and China would automatically reduce that of the other two.Unlike the Great Depression of the 1920s, the current crisis for the West is not just an economic crisis. It has a dimension of demography and conflict (ongoing war with radical Islam) to it. Demographic, because Europe is slowly fading away from the global map. It used to have more than 20 per cent of the global population during the First World War, and now has less than 11 per cent. What’s more, it’s expected to shrink to three per cent in as many decades.The reproductive rate in many European countries is less than 1.5, whereas the stable one is 2.1. In the case of US, the crisis is more severe due to its declining savings rate and a long-term tendency to nationalise families and privatise government.Social security and Medicare system in US is classic case of nationalising families.Such a declining Empire is dangerous to deal with. To start with, it does not want to accept the fact that it is a declining Empire.Plus, it wants to retain its sole power status when it realises that its writ does not any more hold good. It tries to bully India.Whenever a US official visits India, the beards in J&K become more active. Remember Robin Raphael of the nineties vintage who propped up the Hurriyat Conference? India recalls with anger the role Robin Raphael played during the Presidency of Bill Clinton in encouraging the formation of Hurriyat Conference, the umbrella organisation of moderate terrorists and terrorised moderates. Her only name to fame was she studied together with Clinton. When Hillary comes to India, the level of violence in J&K will increase. I wish someone in foreign office in India plots the correlation between visits of US officials and mob frenzy in the downtown Srinagar.The declining empire realises that its elbowroom is becoming lesser and lesser with the Pakistan army that owns and controls a country. Islamabad always has a peculiar way of coming to discussion on any issue.They keep a gun on their own head and argue with others. That is, they always threaten others with catastrophe if money is not given to them. This is the most sophisticated begging anywhere you can see in international relations. Bribing them won’t stop the plotters against the “US Satan”.The next thing the declining empire does is to cringe and appease. The speech by Obama in Cairo is of that variety. He ascribed every human scientific endeavor to Islamic civilisation. Forget the Hindus who invented zero, forget Ptolemy and forget Copernicus. Just rewrite history. The third thing a declining power does is to pressure others to sacrifice on its behalf to buy peace with bullies. It cannot deal with radical Islam and if the ISI (that is what is critical — not the ten per cent Zardari) needs to be appeased with a piece of J&K, then the US will try to arm-twist India.Herein comes our ability to understand declining powers.We must internalise that US is a declining power and our bureaucrats must chant it hundred eight times on a daily basis. We should also remember that USA is very uncomfortable in dealing with democracies.It’s natural ally is always a dictatorship since they can be “use and throw” friendships.Dealing with democracies is messy since they talk about a domestic constituency and behave similar to USA. A mirror image of itself is unacceptable to “sole super power”. As India continues to grow at more than 8 per cent — and simply due to the power of compounding emerges as a major power — the desperation of the declining power will be more since our terrorist neighbour who has a the largest begging bowl and highest per-capita AK-47s will blackmail the declining power to appease him to keep peace.What is in Indian interest is the continuation of civil war in Pakistan for, say, another ten to twenty years — ambient conflict — sort of auto-cannibalism which will be a dynamic disequilibria — situation.Other option is to have at least three or so states created out of that entity. The concept of stable Pakistan is passé and a mirage and that should be unequivocally communicated to the declining empire.Remember the last century. The declining British Empire — now it is the sick child of Europe but still with a grand illusion of influencing Indian sub-continent — created havoc by partitioning the land. The current declining empire may be tempted to do something rash to protect itself. And therein lays the challenge for our political leadership and mandarins. Dealing with a declining empire is more difficult than dealing with a stable empire.
Traddiction
In the days when nonsensical additions to English dictionary are taking place with words such as Jai Ho, I'm working on something similar myself. Due to economy crisis, people are struggling to make any money anywhere in any way. For example, out in the US, people known to be generally nice earlier have suddenly turned cheats. They are dumping their cars in far away deserted areas or burning them and claiming insurance, instead of wasting effort to sell those when there are obviously no buyers! For some reason, they don't seem to know that insurance cos. themselves, among other financial institutions, are in trouble.
In India, OTOH, the stock markets are celebrating the strong growth prediction by a seemingly strong govt, post elections. They are attracting lot of foreign investments too, possibly to take away the profits once a certain stage in markets is reached, causing the Indian stock market to crash. Despite knowing this for a fact, some small players like me are trading in extremely risky and volatile conditions. That, my friends, is what I'd like to call as Traddiction and is defined as follows:
Noun
In India, OTOH, the stock markets are celebrating the strong growth prediction by a seemingly strong govt, post elections. They are attracting lot of foreign investments too, possibly to take away the profits once a certain stage in markets is reached, causing the Indian stock market to crash. Despite knowing this for a fact, some small players like me are trading in extremely risky and volatile conditions. That, my friends, is what I'd like to call as Traddiction and is defined as follows:
Noun
- (n) traddiction: being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on stocks/ stock markets that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially even when losing money).
- (n) traddiction: an abnormally strong craving to trade in stocks regardless of profit or loss.
- (adj) traddictive: causing or characterized by traddiction "traddictive stocks"; "traddictive behavior"; "traddictive markets"
- (n) traddict: someone who is so ardently devoted to stock trading that it resembles a traddiction) "an F&O traddict"; "a day-traddict"; "a short traddict"
- (n) traddict: someone who is psychologically dependent on stock markets; abrupt deprivation of the shares trading access produces withdrawal symptoms
- (v) traddict: to cause (someone or oneself) to become dependent on share/ stock trading, especially a risky one.
Afpak, Indopak... er, Ameglobe?
Birds of a feather flock together, don't they? US funding Pak billions of dollars for the "anti-terror" effort, went with a last minute withdrawal of a rider that the same can't be used to buy weapons against India. Not that I'd any doubt that US doesn't really want peace in Asia or elsewhere, but for those who thought otherwise, it raises serious doubts now! Why else would Pak showcase their new acquisitions of arsenal by firing across the LOC without any incident or accident? This happened today yet again, twice overall in a month and more than 30 times till last year since an Indo-Pak ceasefire was signed in Nov 2003.
I reckon another reason for the last minute rider-removal to be need for more accounting too; the very place that US failed its economy. While Musharraf blew off billions of dollars on buying anti-aircraft missiles to shoot down non-existent Taliban planes, US really didn't know what was happening sitting there. They did ask Musharraf on where did those huge sums of monies go. Here's how the talk went:
Bush: Hey dude, whatever happened to those $10B we gave ya to fight those with turbans... er, whatchamacallit...
Mush: Taliban? Yeah, we almost got them.. that money really helped some, but we need more.
Bush: You spent it all?!!!
Mush: Of course! What good is keeping money lying around in Pak, someone might steal it, you know?
Bush: Hmm... I guess. But then what all did you get?
Mush: We got those arsenals, er, machine guns, bombs, anti-aircraft guns... all that stuff.
Bush: Do Taliban have planes though for you to buy anti-aircraft guns?
Mush: Have you forgotten 9/11?
Bush: Hmm, yea, yea, I get it.
Bush: May I see the bills?
Mush: What bills?
Bush: The things you spent billions on?
Mush: Er, no one told me I got to keep bills... do you know how difficult it is for us to account for billions of dollars? I mean we don't even deal in dollars here. The conversion rate keeps changing every day. Then, there's problem with rats eating into our files. And most of what we get is not really original unless you guys send it yourselves. Moreover, there's some taxation issue that I don't fully understand...
Bush: Stop! Please stop! I came here because I don't know what this economy screwup back in US is; and my credit card bills... Oh! God, its endless... please don't start with the accounting again.
Mush: ... er, did I say we need more money?
Bush: Yea, I'll arrange that right away, before I get thrown out in elections.
Post elections, Bush was replaced by Obama and the world cheered... well, meanwhile Mush too was replaced by Zardari and the world cheered again. Some sanity was finally hoped to prevail.
One of the first things that Obama realized on signing into White House was that US economy was in crisis and the only way US comes off a recession is by wars. "But then, before beginning a new war, lets fund some existing ones and get a headway" is what he thought. It dawned on him that very moment that Pak needs more money to fight terror... lets start there. So he called on Zardari for a chat that went so:
Obama: Hey dude, whats with Afpak these days? Have you enough money?
Zardari: Enough money? What are you kidding me? I thought that you'd be smarter than that miser Bush...
Obama: Yea, yea... I get it. Lets get down to some accounting this time, eh?
Zardari: Accounting? Do you want us to fight your war here or keep accounts?
Obama: Hmm, thats a tough one. If I could afford to pay you to keep accounts, I'd rather call you here for US accounts... but then its war against terror thats going to solve all accounting problems. Lets forget those books for a while, but promise me that you won't use our money to fight India.
Zardari: A gentleman's promise, it is.
Obama: Okay, that will do for now, but you have got to sign it too.
Zardari: Sign it? You mean an agreement and all?
Obama: Yea. We're going to put in a clause that will say that you can't use the anti-terror funding against India.
Zardari: What if we say Osama is hiding in India?
Obama: Good one... lets not do that for now, we'll cross the bridge when we arrive there. It might even cost me my next election bro!
Zardari: Okay, but I'm not going to sign anything. I thought you were smarter than Bush.
Obama: Stop insulting me and come to the point.
Zardari: Well, your country is as it is in recession. Why do you want to mess up further? If we sign that nonsense and break the clause, you are going to have to sue us or stop funding. The latter goes against your war-based economy. The former means having to spend lots on lawyers. Moreover, since we don't have any money to fight you in court, you'll have to fund us for lawyers too, which means further crash in your economy...
Obama: Yea, yea, I get it... screw the clause, but just hold on to your guns for a while, okay?
So, really, is the funding for Afpak, Indopak or Ameglobe?
I reckon another reason for the last minute rider-removal to be need for more accounting too; the very place that US failed its economy. While Musharraf blew off billions of dollars on buying anti-aircraft missiles to shoot down non-existent Taliban planes, US really didn't know what was happening sitting there. They did ask Musharraf on where did those huge sums of monies go. Here's how the talk went:
Bush: Hey dude, whatever happened to those $10B we gave ya to fight those with turbans... er, whatchamacallit...
Mush: Taliban? Yeah, we almost got them.. that money really helped some, but we need more.
Bush: You spent it all?!!!
Mush: Of course! What good is keeping money lying around in Pak, someone might steal it, you know?
Bush: Hmm... I guess. But then what all did you get?
Mush: We got those arsenals, er, machine guns, bombs, anti-aircraft guns... all that stuff.
Bush: Do Taliban have planes though for you to buy anti-aircraft guns?
Mush: Have you forgotten 9/11?
Bush: Hmm, yea, yea, I get it.
Bush: May I see the bills?
Mush: What bills?
Bush: The things you spent billions on?
Mush: Er, no one told me I got to keep bills... do you know how difficult it is for us to account for billions of dollars? I mean we don't even deal in dollars here. The conversion rate keeps changing every day. Then, there's problem with rats eating into our files. And most of what we get is not really original unless you guys send it yourselves. Moreover, there's some taxation issue that I don't fully understand...
Bush: Stop! Please stop! I came here because I don't know what this economy screwup back in US is; and my credit card bills... Oh! God, its endless... please don't start with the accounting again.
Mush: ... er, did I say we need more money?
Bush: Yea, I'll arrange that right away, before I get thrown out in elections.
Post elections, Bush was replaced by Obama and the world cheered... well, meanwhile Mush too was replaced by Zardari and the world cheered again. Some sanity was finally hoped to prevail.
One of the first things that Obama realized on signing into White House was that US economy was in crisis and the only way US comes off a recession is by wars. "But then, before beginning a new war, lets fund some existing ones and get a headway" is what he thought. It dawned on him that very moment that Pak needs more money to fight terror... lets start there. So he called on Zardari for a chat that went so:
Obama: Hey dude, whats with Afpak these days? Have you enough money?
Zardari: Enough money? What are you kidding me? I thought that you'd be smarter than that miser Bush...
Obama: Yea, yea... I get it. Lets get down to some accounting this time, eh?
Zardari: Accounting? Do you want us to fight your war here or keep accounts?
Obama: Hmm, thats a tough one. If I could afford to pay you to keep accounts, I'd rather call you here for US accounts... but then its war against terror thats going to solve all accounting problems. Lets forget those books for a while, but promise me that you won't use our money to fight India.
Zardari: A gentleman's promise, it is.
Obama: Okay, that will do for now, but you have got to sign it too.
Zardari: Sign it? You mean an agreement and all?
Obama: Yea. We're going to put in a clause that will say that you can't use the anti-terror funding against India.
Zardari: What if we say Osama is hiding in India?
Obama: Good one... lets not do that for now, we'll cross the bridge when we arrive there. It might even cost me my next election bro!
Zardari: Okay, but I'm not going to sign anything. I thought you were smarter than Bush.
Obama: Stop insulting me and come to the point.
Zardari: Well, your country is as it is in recession. Why do you want to mess up further? If we sign that nonsense and break the clause, you are going to have to sue us or stop funding. The latter goes against your war-based economy. The former means having to spend lots on lawyers. Moreover, since we don't have any money to fight you in court, you'll have to fund us for lawyers too, which means further crash in your economy...
Obama: Yea, yea, I get it... screw the clause, but just hold on to your guns for a while, okay?
So, really, is the funding for Afpak, Indopak or Ameglobe?
So whats in a name?
Apart from children teasing you or even when you're grown up, friends making fun of you, numerologists taking shots at whats wrong with your name, there are other things to it too. While I can't remember people's names and "whats in a name?" is a good phrase for me to throw around when I err, I'm sure there are many who remember names by effort and take decisions based on the ones they associate with even before meeting up. In a traditional system of earlier generations, what name to keep for a child was a matter of great research. For some, its so even today.
In many orthodox families, the first born male in a family gets his grandfather's name, or at least something closer. Although my parents followed that, as popular names, they chose another as well. So my elder brother got his name as Prashant, apart from Krishna inherited from our grandfather. I got my maternal grandfather's name Padmanabha, which was never used and was called as Praveen instead. My father had a story behind this naming concept, but not one that interests me much, except to tell it around, since I care less for values formed on emotions when they contradict the tradition; all the more so in recent years. Be as it may...
... today, all of this struck me when Raghav said that his niece was named as Mythri. My parents broke the tradition of running names such as Ramakrishna, Krishna, Ramchandra, by naming my brother and me differently. Most of the Hindus name their kids with Godly names by choice; even if they don't, in one way or the other it turns out to be a Godly name, with so many names for God. But we are those rare cases I suppose. :)
I personally feel that the name leaves an impact on the person both within and without. While my brother may have had *silent nature* earlier and may need to hold on to it and even prove it, I have to pick up *expertise* in all that I do, else give it up totally, in order not to do it badly! Funnily enough, if I look back, thats how my life has progressed these 33 years, unknowingly! Finally, for the same reason, I may end up dying with a huge bloated ego! :)
krishNArpaNamastu, padmanAbhArpaNamastu :D
In many orthodox families, the first born male in a family gets his grandfather's name, or at least something closer. Although my parents followed that, as popular names, they chose another as well. So my elder brother got his name as Prashant, apart from Krishna inherited from our grandfather. I got my maternal grandfather's name Padmanabha, which was never used and was called as Praveen instead. My father had a story behind this naming concept, but not one that interests me much, except to tell it around, since I care less for values formed on emotions when they contradict the tradition; all the more so in recent years. Be as it may...
... today, all of this struck me when Raghav said that his niece was named as Mythri. My parents broke the tradition of running names such as Ramakrishna, Krishna, Ramchandra, by naming my brother and me differently. Most of the Hindus name their kids with Godly names by choice; even if they don't, in one way or the other it turns out to be a Godly name, with so many names for God. But we are those rare cases I suppose. :)
I personally feel that the name leaves an impact on the person both within and without. While my brother may have had *silent nature* earlier and may need to hold on to it and even prove it, I have to pick up *expertise* in all that I do, else give it up totally, in order not to do it badly! Funnily enough, if I look back, thats how my life has progressed these 33 years, unknowingly! Finally, for the same reason, I may end up dying with a huge bloated ego! :)
krishNArpaNamastu, padmanAbhArpaNamastu :D
Kasab sahaab
In response to Rajiv's first point about UPA's five year term...
Come on, don't be so harsh on Kasab/ Qasab please. He's a kid, claiming to be 17 yrs old, pressurized to give those earlier statements about being trained in Pak. Sometimes he understands English completely, sometimes he doesn't; how can you blame him then?
In fact, you can understand how serious Congress/ UPA is in providing security, they want to try it out on him first before they extend the trial package to Indians too. Around Kasab's jail, roads are being closed and remade elsewhere for his security. Remember this, Indians around there are just Mumbaites who lost their lives in terrorist attacks many times, so they won't be inconvenienced by mere roads being closed... they still have their lives, right? What does the judge know who heard a petition filed by locals there and asked the police to go to jungle for Kasab's case if they can't provide security!
Kasab has clearly said that newspapers, perfume, walks, etc, are basic necessities for keeping him from going insane. His sanity needs to be intact to do ultra-intelligent work like shooting innocents in Mumbai/ India, as and when need be. In fact, the hearing should be postponed, indefinitely, not only until the new lawyer reads 11000 pages of the chargesheet with a 3 month vacation. Anyway, Pak has given a deadline of May 5th to close all investigations about 26/11 to their various departments. Why even waste everybody's time, let poor Kasab go back to wherever he wants to, even give him money that is being spent by India for security of Kasab, lawyers, witnesses and infrastructure changes.... better now, than after 20 yrs of the case running, when anyway he will be free.
Come on, don't be so harsh on Kasab/ Qasab please. He's a kid, claiming to be 17 yrs old, pressurized to give those earlier statements about being trained in Pak. Sometimes he understands English completely, sometimes he doesn't; how can you blame him then?
In fact, you can understand how serious Congress/ UPA is in providing security, they want to try it out on him first before they extend the trial package to Indians too. Around Kasab's jail, roads are being closed and remade elsewhere for his security. Remember this, Indians around there are just Mumbaites who lost their lives in terrorist attacks many times, so they won't be inconvenienced by mere roads being closed... they still have their lives, right? What does the judge know who heard a petition filed by locals there and asked the police to go to jungle for Kasab's case if they can't provide security!
Kasab has clearly said that newspapers, perfume, walks, etc, are basic necessities for keeping him from going insane. His sanity needs to be intact to do ultra-intelligent work like shooting innocents in Mumbai/ India, as and when need be. In fact, the hearing should be postponed, indefinitely, not only until the new lawyer reads 11000 pages of the chargesheet with a 3 month vacation. Anyway, Pak has given a deadline of May 5th to close all investigations about 26/11 to their various departments. Why even waste everybody's time, let poor Kasab go back to wherever he wants to, even give him money that is being spent by India for security of Kasab, lawyers, witnesses and infrastructure changes.... better now, than after 20 yrs of the case running, when anyway he will be free.
Rush Limbaukh is slumdogging Indians
At the outset, thats an intended typo from Lim-baugh to Lim-baukh. The word *baukh* stands for *barking* in Hindi and thats precisely what this radio jockey has done, he's come out of his jocks yet again! In his radio program, Limbaugh told a caller, who evidently didn't mention India, that slumdog Indians taking away American jobs in the form of outsourcing is not going to stop. Little did he realize that while saying that he has called Americans worse than slumdogs if corporates have to take away quality jobs from them and give it to Indians.
What else can you expect from an idiot who has made fun of people with Parkinson's disease? As they say, commonsense is not so common.
What else can you expect from an idiot who has made fun of people with Parkinson's disease? As they say, commonsense is not so common.
Hindutva
I've finally got sucked in to writing on a controversial topic, especially during elections: Hindutva. For people who do not know, the word Hindu itself has come from a meaningless non-existing link of religion, and has come to stay to become a religion. Thats a word that will not go away, of course. The word Hindu, from the simplest trace among many similar, comes from Persians refering to us as Sindhus, those staying beyond the Sindhu river and their pronounciation of the phoneme si as hi and dhu as du. That continued to be related to the religion followed here, Sanathana Dharma (the eternal set of righteous rules, so to say) and became earmarked as Hindu, forever.
So what is sanAthana dharma? Among gazillion things, including atheism, through polytheism, to monotheism, without contradicting (surprising to people who take everything on face value), its a religion that classifies categories of people based on their work and since one usually follows work that runs in the family (a doctor's child mostly looks to be a doctor, a marwadi runs his father's business, and so on), its by birth too. A person that subscribes to this *thing* is termed a Hindu, one that voices it (me, with my trumpet!) is a Hinduvadi and this *thing* subscribed to, this *concept*, is Hindutva. With that logic, everyone can be categorized as a Hindu. Hence vasudhaiva kuTumbakam, the world is one family.
Back to political link, its all a contradictory governance, where on the one hand, brahmins are being made a singular minority in a country among a singular minority that is already made of Hindus, due to political nonsense and on the other, we voice that there shouldn't be SC, ST, OBC, untouchability and what not. For the record, there is nothing called untouchability in the Vedas, there are four classes of people, based on their birth-and-work. If its not clear, go back to basics, read them *yourself*, don't voice something that comes from polito-religious freaks who have never studied even basics, and if they have, they deliberately hide it from you in their vote-bank interest. I'll add it here for an easy look up, from the pancama veda that Mahabharata (and no, Mahabharata is not a mythological story, it is Itihaas, meaning history, and a much better recorded one, than our fake schoolbook history) is:
janmanA jAyate shUdrAh samskArAt bhavet dvijAh
veda-pAthAt bhavet vipro brahma jAnAtiti brAhmaNAh
I'm not going to write a commentary on it, but suffice it to say that everybody is a shUdrah by birth, only with values does one become a twice-born (the other three *classes* NOT *castes*), which is similar to a logic that modern education makes a person superior (yes, socially it is so; if not, why be in a society?), studying, reciting and understanding Vedas makes a person a pandit and knowing brahma (for simplicity, I'll translate this as: infinity), does one become a brAhmaNa.
Having said all that, I'll repeat, everybody is a Hindu. Finally, if that is really how great an advanced secular society we want to be, not calling ourselves Hindus, why not do two very simple things:
Vande Mataram! Jai Hind!
So what is sanAthana dharma? Among gazillion things, including atheism, through polytheism, to monotheism, without contradicting (surprising to people who take everything on face value), its a religion that classifies categories of people based on their work and since one usually follows work that runs in the family (a doctor's child mostly looks to be a doctor, a marwadi runs his father's business, and so on), its by birth too. A person that subscribes to this *thing* is termed a Hindu, one that voices it (me, with my trumpet!) is a Hinduvadi and this *thing* subscribed to, this *concept*, is Hindutva. With that logic, everyone can be categorized as a Hindu. Hence vasudhaiva kuTumbakam, the world is one family.
Back to political link, its all a contradictory governance, where on the one hand, brahmins are being made a singular minority in a country among a singular minority that is already made of Hindus, due to political nonsense and on the other, we voice that there shouldn't be SC, ST, OBC, untouchability and what not. For the record, there is nothing called untouchability in the Vedas, there are four classes of people, based on their birth-and-work. If its not clear, go back to basics, read them *yourself*, don't voice something that comes from polito-religious freaks who have never studied even basics, and if they have, they deliberately hide it from you in their vote-bank interest. I'll add it here for an easy look up, from the pancama veda that Mahabharata (and no, Mahabharata is not a mythological story, it is Itihaas, meaning history, and a much better recorded one, than our fake schoolbook history) is:
janmanA jAyate shUdrAh samskArAt bhavet dvijAh
veda-pAthAt bhavet vipro brahma jAnAtiti brAhmaNAh
I'm not going to write a commentary on it, but suffice it to say that everybody is a shUdrah by birth, only with values does one become a twice-born (the other three *classes* NOT *castes*), which is similar to a logic that modern education makes a person superior (yes, socially it is so; if not, why be in a society?), studying, reciting and understanding Vedas makes a person a pandit and knowing brahma (for simplicity, I'll translate this as: infinity), does one become a brAhmaNa.
Having said all that, I'll repeat, everybody is a Hindu. Finally, if that is really how great an advanced secular society we want to be, not calling ourselves Hindus, why not do two very simple things:
- Remove caste from all government forms and other documents.
- Then, remove religion from all government forms and other documents.
Vande Mataram! Jai Hind!
Terrorism in India
(In case you come across any suspicious activity, any suspicious movement or have any information to tell to the Anti-Terror Squad, please take a note of the new ALL INDIA TOLL-FREE Terror Help-line '1090'(Please reconfirm this no. in your area, you may end up calling Senior Citizens' Helpline instead! Delhi Police lists this as an ATS helpline while Mumbai and Bangalore use it for senior citizens! As usual, communication-gap between different states). Your city's Police or Anti-Terror squad will take action as quickly as possible. Remember that this single number 1090 is valid all over India.
This is a toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones. The identity of the caller will be kept a secret.
Please try to make every citizen of India aware about this facility)
I don't remember when I picked the newspaper last and didn't see terrorists blast off a city or town area in India! Some months back, it was Jaipur, Bangalore, Gujarat, some weeks before, it was Delhi, yesterday, Gujarat and Maharashtra, and just now its Tripura!!! There is something seriously wrong with India... make that the Indian govt. There's no use in blaming terrorists if we can't do anything to secure Indian lives and property. The world woke up on 911; India has had so many 911s and of even many times the impact thereof, but now it looks like we've got habituated to it. However, that we don't believe in going to war shouldn't mean we can't do things on a war footing. In fact, its time we treat terrorism as a topmost priority and start budgeting towards *eliminating* it. I've always felt that India has more security issues within than at borders. Anyway, even having tight border security is no use if we have such loose refugee policy; India is becoming a refugee camp of sorts, not only helping those in need, but even those who want to contribute to bombing India apart! Also what good is reaching out a helping hand to neighbours so that they can find work and a place to stay in India, never to return back, and pushing more Indian nationals jobless and possibly even leaving some of them to be exploited by terrorists, gangsters and naxalites? Its just a thought to ponder on. We have never been a country that attacked anyone for any gain and have always retaliated in dire straits. But we know from history of having been looted and raped to no end by invaders after offering help, refuge, a friendly gesture, etc, over centuries by French, British, Portuguese, Greeks, Afghanis, etc. The new age invasion is similar, but the mechanism in which the country is taken to ruins is different. Then the demarcation of enemies was clear, now its difficult to identify the enemy within. Then we had a culture to be proud of, to protect, and that culture helped identify those outside the culture indicating the enemy. Now, our culture is lost due to repeated invasion by many, in many ways, some even unknown to the new generations due to rotten history books we were and are schooled in, that are full of lies and cooked-up stories by the poisonous Western minds then such as Max Muller, William Jones, Macaulay, Mountbatten, etc. They were no less than today's terrorists, since they laid the foundation of damage by taking away the Indian culture, albeit standing apart as a different populace.
And do yourself a favour; at least watch a movie called A Wednesday, a Hindi movie starring Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher. I did guess how the movie would turn out to be in the very beginning, but still that made me watch it twice already. The dialogues do bring back feelings that most Indians carry within themselves, wake up to voice them every time there is a terrorist act (like I do this with blog now) and then sleep again, be it "by force or choice" [sic], thanks to the useless, good-for-nothing, govt of India. For some, it could be an eye-opener; for me, it wasn't since I myself have extreme opinion of everything in life. To me, a terrorist like Afzal is not to be fed on tax payers' monies behind bars. If the govt doesn't have the guts to do the right thing, we'd rather throw away the entire legal system, if there is one still left in India, and get back to barbarian society of jungle raj.
Its not too late to learn from Israelis on how to protect themselves, and at least train each Indian the military way compulsorily for a few years, both to prepare the individual as well as for one to learn to respect India and everything Indian.
This is a toll free number and can be dialed from mobile phones. The identity of the caller will be kept a secret.
Please try to make every citizen of India aware about this facility)
I don't remember when I picked the newspaper last and didn't see terrorists blast off a city or town area in India! Some months back, it was Jaipur, Bangalore, Gujarat, some weeks before, it was Delhi, yesterday, Gujarat and Maharashtra, and just now its Tripura!!! There is something seriously wrong with India... make that the Indian govt. There's no use in blaming terrorists if we can't do anything to secure Indian lives and property. The world woke up on 911; India has had so many 911s and of even many times the impact thereof, but now it looks like we've got habituated to it. However, that we don't believe in going to war shouldn't mean we can't do things on a war footing. In fact, its time we treat terrorism as a topmost priority and start budgeting towards *eliminating* it. I've always felt that India has more security issues within than at borders. Anyway, even having tight border security is no use if we have such loose refugee policy; India is becoming a refugee camp of sorts, not only helping those in need, but even those who want to contribute to bombing India apart! Also what good is reaching out a helping hand to neighbours so that they can find work and a place to stay in India, never to return back, and pushing more Indian nationals jobless and possibly even leaving some of them to be exploited by terrorists, gangsters and naxalites? Its just a thought to ponder on. We have never been a country that attacked anyone for any gain and have always retaliated in dire straits. But we know from history of having been looted and raped to no end by invaders after offering help, refuge, a friendly gesture, etc, over centuries by French, British, Portuguese, Greeks, Afghanis, etc. The new age invasion is similar, but the mechanism in which the country is taken to ruins is different. Then the demarcation of enemies was clear, now its difficult to identify the enemy within. Then we had a culture to be proud of, to protect, and that culture helped identify those outside the culture indicating the enemy. Now, our culture is lost due to repeated invasion by many, in many ways, some even unknown to the new generations due to rotten history books we were and are schooled in, that are full of lies and cooked-up stories by the poisonous Western minds then such as Max Muller, William Jones, Macaulay, Mountbatten, etc. They were no less than today's terrorists, since they laid the foundation of damage by taking away the Indian culture, albeit standing apart as a different populace.
And do yourself a favour; at least watch a movie called A Wednesday, a Hindi movie starring Naseeruddin Shah and Anupam Kher. I did guess how the movie would turn out to be in the very beginning, but still that made me watch it twice already. The dialogues do bring back feelings that most Indians carry within themselves, wake up to voice them every time there is a terrorist act (like I do this with blog now) and then sleep again, be it "by force or choice" [sic], thanks to the useless, good-for-nothing, govt of India. For some, it could be an eye-opener; for me, it wasn't since I myself have extreme opinion of everything in life. To me, a terrorist like Afzal is not to be fed on tax payers' monies behind bars. If the govt doesn't have the guts to do the right thing, we'd rather throw away the entire legal system, if there is one still left in India, and get back to barbarian society of jungle raj.
Its not too late to learn from Israelis on how to protect themselves, and at least train each Indian the military way compulsorily for a few years, both to prepare the individual as well as for one to learn to respect India and everything Indian.
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