Afpak, Indopak... er, Ameglobe?

Birds of a feather flock together, don't they? US funding Pak billions of dollars for the "anti-terror" effort, went with a last minute withdrawal of a rider that the same can't be used to buy weapons against India. Not that I'd any doubt that US doesn't really want peace in Asia or elsewhere, but for those who thought otherwise, it raises serious doubts now! Why else would Pak showcase their new acquisitions of arsenal by firing across the LOC without any incident or accident? This happened today yet again, twice overall in a month and more than 30 times till last year since an Indo-Pak ceasefire was signed in Nov 2003.

I reckon another reason for the last minute rider-removal to be need for more accounting too; the very place that US failed its economy. While Musharraf blew off billions of dollars on buying anti-aircraft missiles to shoot down non-existent Taliban planes, US really didn't know what was happening sitting there. They did ask Musharraf on where did those huge sums of monies go. Here's how the talk went:

Bush: Hey dude, whatever happened to those $10B we gave ya to fight those with turbans... er, whatchamacallit...

Mush: Taliban? Yeah, we almost got them.. that money really helped some, but we need more.
Bush: You spent it all?!!!
Mush: Of course! What good is keeping money lying around in Pak, someone might steal it, you know?
Bush: Hmm... I guess. But then what all did you get?
Mush: We got those arsenals, er, machine guns, bombs, anti-aircraft guns... all that stuff.
Bush: Do Taliban have planes though for you to buy anti-aircraft guns?

Mush: Have you forgotten 9/11?
Bush: Hmm, yea, yea, I get it.

Bush: May I see the bills?
Mush: What bills?
Bush: The things you spent billions on?
Mush: Er, no one told me I got to keep bills... do you know how difficult it is for us to account for billions of dollars? I mean we don't even deal in dollars here. The conversion rate keeps changing every day. Then, there's problem with rats eating into our files. And most of what we get is not really original unless you guys send it yourselves. Moreover, there's some taxation issue that I don't fully understand...
Bush: Stop! Please stop! I came here because I don't know what this economy screwup back in US is; and my credit card bills... Oh! God, its endless... please don't start with the accounting again.

Mush: ... er, did I say we need more money?
Bush: Yea, I'll arrange that right away, before I get thrown out in elections.

Post elections, Bush was replaced by Obama and the world cheered... well, meanwhile Mush too was replaced by Zardari and the world cheered again. Some sanity was finally hoped to prevail.

One of the first things that Obama realized on signing into White House was that US economy was in crisis and the only way US comes off a recession is by wars. "But then, before beginning a new war, lets fund some existing ones and get a headway" is what he thought. It dawned on him that very moment that Pak needs more money to fight terror... lets start there. So he called on Zardari for a chat that went so:

Obama: Hey dude, whats with Afpak these days? Have you enough money?
Zardari: Enough money? What are you kidding me? I thought that you'd be smarter than that miser Bush...
Obama: Yea, yea... I get it. Lets get down to some accounting this time, eh?
Zardari: Accounting? Do you want us to fight your war here or keep accounts?
Obama: Hmm, thats a tough one. If I could afford to pay you to keep accounts, I'd rather call you here for US accounts... but then its war against terror thats going to solve all accounting problems. Lets forget those books for a while, but promise me that you won't use our money to fight India.
Zardari: A gentleman's promise, it is.
Obama: Okay, that will do for now, but you have got to sign it too.
Zardari: Sign it? You mean an agreement and all?
Obama: Yea. We're going to put in a clause that will say that you can't use the anti-terror funding against India.
Zardari: What if we say Osama is hiding in India?
Obama: Good one... lets not do that for now, we'll cross the bridge when we arrive there. It might even cost me my next election bro!
Zardari: Okay, but I'm not going to sign anything. I thought you were smarter than Bush.
Obama: Stop insulting me and come to the point.
Zardari: Well, your country is as it is in recession. Why do you want to mess up further? If we sign that nonsense and break the clause, you are going to have to sue us or stop funding. The latter goes against your war-based economy. The former means having to spend lots on lawyers. Moreover, since we don't have any money to fight you in court, you'll have to fund us for lawyers too, which means further crash in your economy...
Obama: Yea, yea, I get it... screw the clause, but just hold on to your guns for a while, okay?

So, really, is the funding for Afpak, Indopak or Ameglobe?
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