To live or to lead?

Some years ago, a wise gentleman told me thus: "Many people think that living a life is sufficient, but its really leading a life" or something to that effect. It made sense alright, but I was so blunt that I didn't think that that rule applied to me. I had come down from neck-deep of spiritual following to only knee-deep. Still, I'd hopes. And hopes are what have brought me this far through nowhere land!

Success is a difficult thing in spirituality, more than it is in the world out there. People, unfortunately, have a common worldly yardstick to measure even your success on the spiritual side, not knowing that the units are totally different and cannot be even converted by your regular math! Now then, how are we to prove our spiritual worth to the world that stands as a witness, whether or not you want it there at your doorstep? We needn't! The day we feel the need for others to tell us about how well we are doing on the path, thats the day we can throw our beliefs aside and pump up the ego, slip down, fall and rethink our priorities.

Coming back to the original question then, I agree up to an extent. We do lead our lives, and that comes naturally to us since birth, the way we are taught. However, that is the precise reason we are in this karmic debt of needs and wants. We are repaying for our wanting to lead not only our life but others' lives as well. Plain vanilla living, first letting go of our wants and then slowly moving toward letting go of what we consider as needs too, is easier said than done. Its a moment of truth when we give into the belief that I'm alive not due to my leading the life, but despite it; some higher force-- that prANa-- takes care of me, without my involvement, whatsoever. All my involvement just increases this span of surviving across lives, dragging me further away from the truth than I stand today.

So, instead of leading my own life into eternal set of lives, I'd rather go with the flow and say so: The same force that made me give up my job might make me take up another, and that is okay... I'll be ready when I'm ready.

om tat sat

Let the sun shine

On this occasion of the longest solar eclipse of the century, I woke up to my sAdhana and had a blog coming to my mind. This one is about that series of thoughts that occurred to me in my morning oblations to the sun. A solar eclipse is supposed to be an auspicious time for religious and spiritual pursuits since it brings more fruits than other regular times. Its a time when people take a holy dip in the rivers around India and take to mantra japa or such.

Be as it may, grahaNa or eclipse has a different meaning for me. The sun being hidden by the moon to make it disappear from the earth's vision is of a deep philosophical significance. It has a hidden spiritual import; the prayers do too. Its a time for us to pray and ask the Sun to shine and bring us out of the darkness that moon has caused us to be in. The moon has not affected the sun, but only us earthlings. One is blinded by the darkness of ego and cannot see the Self. In other words, jIva is blinded by an ashuddha antahkaraNa that cannot shine the reflection of the Atman just as the moon doesn't shine anymore during the eclipse as we can see only the dark side of it.

As the chitta cleanses itself of all the dark habits, the Atman shines again as a reflection, at first in the antahkaraNa and then as the reflection itself burns the dust off the chitta, the Atman shines brightly, swallowing all the darkness there ever was. The sun alone remains when seen at directly, even with closed eyes. Wherever you look then, the sun will appear in bright spots on the vision elsewhere. That Atman once looked at directly (that is,by shravaNa, manana and nidhidhyAsana) too will appear in all our vision.

The prayers during the eclipse are really prayers for us to see that Sun which shines even during the nights, even in our deepest of sleeps; that Sun is the Self. The eclipse to get over is a wait for moksha. The moon covering up the sun is a natural occurrence, just as day-to-day things cause darkness in our lives. And this, my friends, doesn't happen to just you and me. Since its a karmabhoomi, - this Earth is - it occurs to anyone born here in any form. It happened to Bhagavan Rama as well!

As the legend goes, Rama was upset about his failing triumph over Ravana. Thats when Rama prayed to Agastya Rishi and took the upadesha on prayers to the sun, which came to be known as Aditya hRdayaM. Since time immemorial, stories in India are made in such a way that the meaning is applicable to daily life as it appears on the face of it, as well as containing a hidden teaching that will open up and become sAdhaka's tool during manana! Surely, this hymn helped Rama know the Truth and win over Ravana in the battle that followed thence.

The last two stanzas of Aditya hRdayaM go thus:

esha supteshu jAgarti bhUteshu parinishThitaHesha evAgnihotraM ca phalaM caivAgnihotriNAm (A.H. 23)
Salutations to the Lord who abides in the heart of all beings keeping awake even when they are asleep. He is both the sacrificial fire and the fruit enjoyed by the worshippers thereof.

vedASca kratavaScaiva kratUnAM phalameva cayAni kRtyAni lokeSu sarva esha raviH prabhuH (A.H. 24)
The sun is indeed the Lord of all action in this universe. He is verily the Vedas, the sacrifices ordained therein and the fruits thereof.

bhAskarAya namonamaH

Hats off to BSNL jokers!

I returned home after a gap of almost a month, which means my internet was untested all this while. I've voiced earlier of the painfully incompetent services of BSNL broadband and thirdrate Chinese modems of theirs.

This time around, I was not getting many ADSL failures like earlier, but DNS failures. I'd set the DNS to opendns and tried. Then DDNS. Then static DNS IPs. And of course, auto discovered ones too. Well, I tried everything that there was to try with DNS, including putting my own DNS cache on the laptop. I still get DNS failures. Forget technicality, lets get to discussing the unique BSNL support...

Three days back, I called my local BSNL JTO who, on complaining, went on so:

JTO: Do you use Windows Vista?
me: No Sir, I use Ubuntu Linux now.
JTO: Saheb, we know nothing about Linux.
me: (pissed off) Why does that matter? I can log onto your modem and test it and see failures. ADSL passes, ATM OAM segments pass. DNS fails.
JTO: DNS will pass only if you can connect and login. So it can't be DNS problem.
me: Thats what I'm saying; everything passes, DNS doesn't. This thing's happening since the past 3 months and the BSNL DNS servers are almost always down.
JTO: Oh, I'll give you a no. call there, we can't do anything about DNS issues.

I take the no. and try endlessly to get through and finally I do after half or one hour. They listen to everything and I hear in the background someone saying "Ask him to complain in writing". The fella says that his Saheb will call back! Of course, no one does. Their own phones are out of order when I try again!

I'm back to my local JTO now some time back and this is how that went:

me: Saheb, namaskar. I called up three days back regarding a DNS problem and your people said they'd call back. They didn't.
JTO: I gave you that no. because we can't do anything abt DNS stuff. If its username issue, ADSL not "glowing", we can look into.
me: Sir, I think its the issue with the modem now. I've tried everything and now I do suspect the modem.
JTO: It can't be the modem. It just communicates. Thats all.
me: (huh!) The modem may have some cache/ memory issues and overflow errors because it conks off every 15 mins and works on reset again and DNS workaround settings for another 15 mins.

The JTO gets into warranty talk and all that. Then this happens:
JTO: Do you have a laptop?
me: Yes.
JTO: I don't have a computer here. If you're free, get your laptop here. You don't need to bring the modem, I've plenty. What I'll do is hook you up to your line here, you can login and test here. You'll know if its a modem problem. I'm here in office today.
me: (what the heck!) Yes, yes, I'll call up and come over. Thanks a bunch, Sir.
JTO: Thank you, saheb.

I'm banging my head now. I got an unpaid job offer from BSNL to check and troubleshoot my BSNL broadband for which I pay and they get salaries! BSNL has awesome and one-of-a-kind support, won't you agree? BSNL zindabad. Since then, I've tried calling and surfing for an option to BSNL broadband and of course, failed, thanks to godforsaken place called Vasai. :)

Thoughts 102-103

102. Life is a happening.

103. Death is a temporary painkiller.

Yet another tribute to Shani

Shani troubles every sentient being in many ways, either as a part of his being in the daSA-bhukti or as his sAde sAti cycle that goes on for 7.5 yrs. This is just another story of his achievements.

Shani was set to trouble Shiva in his regular way. In negotiations, Shani had asked for a short period of time, when he has to affect Shiva and Shiva refused. Shiva being Ishvara himself felt that he shouldn't be affected by Shani and so he wouldn't be affected by Shani! This came out as a challenge between the two, one trying to trouble the other and the other thinking that he wouldn't be affected at all, being all-powerful. Shiva had a plan, he decided to hide during the time Shani was to influence him, meaning Shani will have to find him first. That seemed to work. Now, one version of the story says that Shiva hid under a pond and another that he hid inside a horse becoming tiny, but the fact remains that he did hide during the time. Obviously, Shani couldn't find him, at least thats what Shiva knew, because the time period of challenge had passed without Shiva confronting Shani's laid out troubles.

At the end, Shiva came out of his hiding and claimed to have won the challenge saying that Shani couldn't find him at all. To this, Shani responded that the troubles can come in any way and may not even be obvious, but they are troubles nonetheless. Why else would the ruler of the three worlds, Ishvara himself, give up his ruling for the time he was affected by Shani and hide instead?! And so did Shiva agree that Shani had, indeed, influenced him. :)

nilAnjana samAbhAsaM raviputraM yamAgrajaM
chhAyAmartanda sambhutaM taM namAmi shanaischaraM

The lost horizon of the emperors (by R. Vaidyanathan)

A must read article for everyone is here as published by Indian Express on 21st June 2009. The copyright is as mentioned in the link.

At every seminar on financial matters these days, there’s one question that lingers — even during the coffee breaks: will the economy recover, and when? And, it isn’t about the Indian economy but that of the US. I reiterate it will take at least 40 quarters — that’s a decade — for America to recover. I tell this, and am shunned — like a swine flu patient.I still maintain the US is going the banana republic way what with a national debt of more than $10 trillion, which is more than 80 per cent of its national income. Not only that the budget deficit is skyrocketing; it’s expected to reach more than 10 per cent soon. Last year, the US financial regulatory agencies came up with plans of financial support worth $6.8 trillion — comprising temporary loans and liability and asset guarantees. And by the third end of the first quarter of 2009, the financial support programmes reached $13.9 trillion.The federal deficit as percentage of GDP is now expected to reach more than 10 per cent. There will be furious printing of more treasury bills and notes. The expected inflation is going to rip apart the society and the largest selling item in the last quarter was handguns and rifles. Already intriguing reports have come about attempt to smuggle more than $134 billion in treasury bonds by two Japanese citizens through the Italian border into Switzerland. It could be a ploy by CIA or really a daredevil act by some foreign government to destabilise the global financial system. I am waiting for the creditrating agencies like S&P to downgrade the US economy like other developing countries and prove their independence from the sole superpower. High hopes. Angus Maddison in his pioneering work for OECD on the global GDP share for the last 2,000 years has brought out an interesting fact pertaining to India and China. As early as the 1820s, China (33%) along with India (16%) and other Asian countries had a share of more than 55 per cent in the global GDP. By the late 20th century, it has declined to 29 per cent. The China percentage slid to 12, India’s to 5.In the next 20 years, India should plan to have a share of at least 30 per cent of the global GDP. These imply that India should be racing ahead. If India grows at 8 to 9 per cent in the coming decade, then it can become the world’s third or fourth superpower.But it also implies that, parallely, the West should decline in terms of their importance in the share of global GDP and world affairs.Since the total is 100 per cent, any increased share for India and China would automatically reduce that of the other two.Unlike the Great Depression of the 1920s, the current crisis for the West is not just an economic crisis. It has a dimension of demography and conflict (ongoing war with radical Islam) to it. Demographic, because Europe is slowly fading away from the global map. It used to have more than 20 per cent of the global population during the First World War, and now has less than 11 per cent. What’s more, it’s expected to shrink to three per cent in as many decades.The reproductive rate in many European countries is less than 1.5, whereas the stable one is 2.1. In the case of US, the crisis is more severe due to its declining savings rate and a long-term tendency to nationalise families and privatise government.Social security and Medicare system in US is classic case of nationalising families.Such a declining Empire is dangerous to deal with. To start with, it does not want to accept the fact that it is a declining Empire.Plus, it wants to retain its sole power status when it realises that its writ does not any more hold good. It tries to bully India.Whenever a US official visits India, the beards in J&K become more active. Remember Robin Raphael of the nineties vintage who propped up the Hurriyat Conference? India recalls with anger the role Robin Raphael played during the Presidency of Bill Clinton in encouraging the formation of Hurriyat Conference, the umbrella organisation of moderate terrorists and terrorised moderates. Her only name to fame was she studied together with Clinton. When Hillary comes to India, the level of violence in J&K will increase. I wish someone in foreign office in India plots the correlation between visits of US officials and mob frenzy in the downtown Srinagar.The declining empire realises that its elbowroom is becoming lesser and lesser with the Pakistan army that owns and controls a country. Islamabad always has a peculiar way of coming to discussion on any issue.They keep a gun on their own head and argue with others. That is, they always threaten others with catastrophe if money is not given to them. This is the most sophisticated begging anywhere you can see in international relations. Bribing them won’t stop the plotters against the “US Satan”.The next thing the declining empire does is to cringe and appease. The speech by Obama in Cairo is of that variety. He ascribed every human scientific endeavor to Islamic civilisation. Forget the Hindus who invented zero, forget Ptolemy and forget Copernicus. Just rewrite history. The third thing a declining power does is to pressure others to sacrifice on its behalf to buy peace with bullies. It cannot deal with radical Islam and if the ISI (that is what is critical — not the ten per cent Zardari) needs to be appeased with a piece of J&K, then the US will try to arm-twist India.Herein comes our ability to understand declining powers.We must internalise that US is a declining power and our bureaucrats must chant it hundred eight times on a daily basis. We should also remember that USA is very uncomfortable in dealing with democracies.It’s natural ally is always a dictatorship since they can be “use and throw” friendships.Dealing with democracies is messy since they talk about a domestic constituency and behave similar to USA. A mirror image of itself is unacceptable to “sole super power”. As India continues to grow at more than 8 per cent — and simply due to the power of compounding emerges as a major power — the desperation of the declining power will be more since our terrorist neighbour who has a the largest begging bowl and highest per-capita AK-47s will blackmail the declining power to appease him to keep peace.What is in Indian interest is the continuation of civil war in Pakistan for, say, another ten to twenty years — ambient conflict — sort of auto-cannibalism which will be a dynamic disequilibria — situation.Other option is to have at least three or so states created out of that entity. The concept of stable Pakistan is passé and a mirage and that should be unequivocally communicated to the declining empire.Remember the last century. The declining British Empire — now it is the sick child of Europe but still with a grand illusion of influencing Indian sub-continent — created havoc by partitioning the land. The current declining empire may be tempted to do something rash to protect itself. And therein lays the challenge for our political leadership and mandarins. Dealing with a declining empire is more difficult than dealing with a stable empire.

Brainfall tests

I took three pastime tests today:

Which Seinfeld Character Are You?
	You are Jerry. You prefer to sit back and watch the world rather than to participate. You can seem aloof and uncaring, but beneath your distance is a unique take on the world that that consistently draws friends to you--and your apartment.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Chandler. You're funny and that's why people like to have you around. You're also a great friend, and when someone you care about is in trouble, they know to come to you for some level-headed advice followed by some sharp sarcasm.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

How well do you know Friends?
	You are Chandler. Can your Friends IQ be any higher? Not by much! You are Chandler. You are so close to knowing everything that it's crazy. You need to pay just a little more attention to your friends and then you'll be obsessing with Monica!
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Tata Sierra, a temptation

Last June, I was in Bangalore around this time. I'd been planning to buy an old car for some experimentation in a village and I used to like Sierra as a child. So giving into temptations, I just walked into a used car dealer's and asked him if he had any Sierra Turbo. He had two and I asked him to get me the latest: 2001 model. Somehow, I was in a hurry to leave Bangalore and waited for hours for him to get the vehicle. By then it was pretty dark and I couldn't see the vehicle well. I liked the drive off it and trusting the fella, closed the deal. Next day, I picked up the car, but saw that it had many issues! Still, I paid heavy for the car, spent a lot over it on electricals, some A/C work and interiors, new speakers, insurance and drove from Bangalore to KA villages.





Unfortunately, I had to leave KA and end up in Vasai in MH, before any experimentation or major drives began. I drove fully packed to Mumbai and since five months, Sierra is lying mostly unused, sucking dust, with children having a gala summer vacation, scribbling over it with whatever they find, even stones or sharp objects. By such hurting, I decided to sell the car, got new art leather seats, JK Brute 4x4 tyres, A/C cooling coil, receiver-drier, expansion valve... well, the works, . I spent around 2.75L over all thus far. The offers I got are ridiculously low to even discuss. Best ones among them were with one chap agreeing up at 2L and another at 2.2L, if I get it to him. I planned to leave tomorrow, until few minutes back, when I went for some minor issues and fell in love with Sierra once again! I'm tempted to keep it now for a while and think over more, because I'll never find a 2001 Tata Sierra again.

I suppose human desires never end and I'm falling for it once more, but then again because I bought the vehicle for some use last year that didn't work out yet, I don't need to do away with it at such a loss.

Traddiction

In the days when nonsensical additions to English dictionary are taking place with words such as Jai Ho, I'm working on something similar myself. Due to economy crisis, people are struggling to make any money anywhere in any way. For example, out in the US, people known to be generally nice earlier have suddenly turned cheats. They are dumping their cars in far away deserted areas or burning them and claiming insurance, instead of wasting effort to sell those when there are obviously no buyers! For some reason, they don't seem to know that insurance cos. themselves, among other financial institutions, are in trouble.

In India, OTOH, the stock markets are celebrating the strong growth prediction by a seemingly strong govt, post elections. They are attracting lot of foreign investments too, possibly to take away the profits once a certain stage in markets is reached, causing the Indian stock market to crash. Despite knowing this for a fact, some small players like me are trading in extremely risky and volatile conditions. That, my friends, is what I'd like to call as Traddiction and is defined as follows:

Noun

• (n) traddiction: being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on stocks/ stock markets that is psychologically or physically habit-forming (especially even when losing money).
  
• (n) traddiction: an abnormally strong craving to trade in stocks regardless of profit or loss.

Adjective

• (adj) traddictive: causing or characterized by traddiction "traddictive stocks"; "traddictive behavior"; "traddictive markets"

Noun

• (n) traddict: someone who is so ardently devoted to stock trading that it resembles a traddiction) "an F&O traddict"; "a day-traddict"; "a short traddict"
  
• (n) traddict: someone who is psychologically dependent on stock markets; abrupt deprivation of the shares trading access produces withdrawal symptoms

Verb

• (v) traddict: to cause (someone or oneself) to become dependent on share/ stock trading, especially a risky one.