Wading away...

A lot many things happened in the past week of my vacation. Most good, some odd, not sure if they're bad. The latter incidents although small in number are worrying me since days now. My important decisions, as they seemed, have reached standstill, as if wanting to turn around and get reversed! This is what scares me. Such uncertainty is the thumb rule of life. I knew it so, but thought I would remain untouched whichever way things go. Although scared, I still believe that I'll stand tall at things around, God by my side, no matter what. Even if its not a right one-on-one comparison, it does remind me of what a good friend once said. He was trying to find a suitable bride for himself for over a couple of years. Later, he concluded that it doesn't matter if he doesn't get married, but he prayed, nay demanded, that Swami be with him all his life!

I was headstrong in some matters, thinking all's ended with my plans shaping well and that I just need to execute them out at the right time. I wasn't expecting things to fall apart in this manner. Its quite surprising that I've been hit by the right people at the wrong time. I still call it a mind-game and want to try a few tricks to trap the traps. There are various ways to do it but one solution is bound to open up another problem I'm trying to overlook. I know I'll have to pick least of the many evils at hand, till God shows me the way.

I thought I'd walked enough and running had picked up pace. The breeze of life seemed to have a soothing aroma. Now I've been told that the direction is, perhaps, wrong! Or to that effect, atleast. Other milder opinion was for me to go slow. They all tell me confusing things, contradicting at times. Still, I do feel like I want to consider the suggestions. How far will I go on the path, before I change my mind is something that I don't have an answer to; only time will tell. But then again, they also tell me that the time is eternal, or there's nothing like time. Questions such as the following hit the mind cold: can there be a time when time was born?

7 comments:

eismcsquare said...

There are a lot of things in life where you dont actually have any control - not completely. The dynamic variable are too many, and they keep changing - with or without your knowledge. But when it happens, I would not just keep my fingers crossed and pray.

Advaitavedanti said...

I agree with what you say on the physical plane of existence, where one thinks of doing things, getting things, etc. What I talk of here is the spiritual plane, where you need to go beyond these. Thats where I'm coming from; thats where you've less control; thats where the confusion lies and thats where the solution lies too!

Bayesian Observer said...

Are you from Bishop Cottons ?

Anonymous said...

If your WILL is strong enough, whatever you choose is your destiny. Ofcourse, with complete SURRENDER to your Master......An interesting story, from M.'s work Ramakrishna would keep asking Rakhal, etc. that there are nice girls waiting for you, why don't u get married?

- I'm just giving marraige as an example...

-Their will was so strong that they were already married to the Divine, and nothing could budge them by an inch..That is where we have to learn!!! No Matter who tells you what, be it a clairvoyant or another master or a Yogi!! , your WILL Prevails, if you SURRENDER

Advaitavedanti said...

To me, these sound as contradictory statements. When you *surrender* unto your master, there's no *will* of yours; so the question of it prevailing doesn't arise! Its a sad state of pseudo-bhakthaas today that Swami points out to. He says you can't submit to the Lord to take care of you and then say "this is what I want"! (I guess you meant that too.) Let the Lord want things for you, then. Ramakrishna's was to test his devotees. Rakhal was a sweet one for him.

Anonymous said...

the logic is "you are your own Master"

Advaitavedanti said...

The logic is *well* so, but there's a time when one gets in a position to really *relate* to such a statement. eg, its akin to saying "you're always free". Righto, but when? When you know so! Its like reading any mahaavaakya, for that matter. I humbly submit I'm not there yet.

PS: Guess-ji, I may have failed to guess your identity! Would you care to tell if I know you? Its easier to interact if I know some background, then I don't have to go on to repeat things I understand you know.