A gazillion...
... moods: agonizingly funny, downright stupid, insanely brilliant, wholly lonesome, barrelful drunk...
... personalities: involved, enticed, careless, lost...
... plans: all tangential and contradicting.
I can't relate to any of these right now. All these elliptic thoughts seem to be making up a dotted-line to psychosis!
Vibhuti
When I wear the vibhuti, also known as bhasma, it tells me a story. It tells me that whatever there is, has its ending as ash! The body, our possessions, all of that made over years and years is but, temporary. People say that possessions will be carried over to generations' benefit, but I see that as being temporary too. Why collect things when someday its got to be thrown away or turned to ashes? That sounds like death of matter.
On the other hand, someday even those doings, thoughts and the other subtle stuff such as mind, intelligence, memory and whatever there is, in essence, will be burned to ashes. Thats what vibhuti represents to me. It says out loud to defocus from the impermanent foreground that will automatically take one to the permanent background of the eternal self. Akin to photography, where one defocuses with the lens all the objects to clearly see the subject. Technically, its shifting to the background process, disowning all those overlapping foreground processes with their innumerous threads and dangling pointers turn into zombies in totality and let them die their own death!
chidAnanda rUpa shivohaM shivohaM
On the other hand, someday even those doings, thoughts and the other subtle stuff such as mind, intelligence, memory and whatever there is, in essence, will be burned to ashes. Thats what vibhuti represents to me. It says out loud to defocus from the impermanent foreground that will automatically take one to the permanent background of the eternal self. Akin to photography, where one defocuses with the lens all the objects to clearly see the subject. Technically, its shifting to the background process, disowning all those overlapping foreground processes with their innumerous threads and dangling pointers turn into zombies in totality and let them die their own death!
chidAnanda rUpa shivohaM shivohaM
Nothing else matters!
There are times when words just don't mean anything. Either they are said too much in excess when not in need of, or not meant so. At other times, its just a feeling that tells ya that you know what is what, without being told.
I was thinking that a friend even when out of touch or not responding to your mails will still be a friend. The bonding exists if you feel it exists. It need not necessarily be expressed... its just there. I'm reminded of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters:
So close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way, life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say, and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far, it couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way, life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say, and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say, never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, no, nothing else matters
I was thinking that a friend even when out of touch or not responding to your mails will still be a friend. The bonding exists if you feel it exists. It need not necessarily be expressed... its just there. I'm reminded of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters:
So close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way, life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say, and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far, it couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way, life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say, and nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you, every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view, and nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say, never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do, never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far, couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are, no, nothing else matters
Thoughts 26
26. Dharma is quite a forgotten word, much misunderstood and a lot modified for various conveniences!
(originally written on March 24, 2006 and intended as a longer blog entry that never worked out)
(originally written on March 24, 2006 and intended as a longer blog entry that never worked out)
Hypocrite
I feel like a bloody hypocrite living a low life while keeping a high goal. The journey is endless and I fall at every step. When Murphy's follower ruled "You can't fall off the ground", someone else replied "It takes a kid three years to learn that rule".
But a spiritual lesson fades, unlike walking on the ground. One can easily get buried under the past and present in this world and lose perspective of the future. The future, though defined by karma, still could have a place out of the worldly attachments. When the end is in sight, new set of doubts and problems crop up from nowhere!
A calculated risk is no risk at all.
But a spiritual lesson fades, unlike walking on the ground. One can easily get buried under the past and present in this world and lose perspective of the future. The future, though defined by karma, still could have a place out of the worldly attachments. When the end is in sight, new set of doubts and problems crop up from nowhere!
A calculated risk is no risk at all.
The final countdown
After a long wait, the countdown finally begins for my last days at work. I resigned few minutes back and will be counting days till July 31, 2006.
Coincidentally, when I step out on July 31st, I'll have completed 5 yrs and 9 months at this workplace, while my prior experience also totals to 5 yrs and 9 months! Quite strange an occurrence I thought it to be, this morn!
Anyway, currently I'm in mixed feelings... more emotional though. I've made some of my best friends here; its been a second family. I've also learnt some of my best lessons here! Bangalore has given so much of what I wanted and streamlined some of my future. I'm not sure I'll be able to burn the bridges behind me...
hum chhod chale hain mehfil ko, yaad aaye kabhi toh mat ronaa
Coincidentally, when I step out on July 31st, I'll have completed 5 yrs and 9 months at this workplace, while my prior experience also totals to 5 yrs and 9 months! Quite strange an occurrence I thought it to be, this morn!
Anyway, currently I'm in mixed feelings... more emotional though. I've made some of my best friends here; its been a second family. I've also learnt some of my best lessons here! Bangalore has given so much of what I wanted and streamlined some of my future. I'm not sure I'll be able to burn the bridges behind me...
hum chhod chale hain mehfil ko, yaad aaye kabhi toh mat ronaa
Back to pranks
Today, Malto and I decided to go out for lunch. But backache returning, I was tired to walk. So instead we closed in on eating at our cafe (really un-food food) and asked Radha if he's interested to join. Radha went on "yaar, bahut din se upar kha raha hoon, bahaar chalte hai" and then...
me: I'm not feeling well enough to walk, lets eat some food here itself
R: (reluctantly... mumbling, joins us and goes for a wash; Rag joins in with his tiffin)
M: Have a look at the lunch!!!
me: Hmmm, nothing worth eating, lets go out. Where's Radha?
M: He's in the wash.
me: (bulb glowing) Lets go out after Radha fills his plate :)
M: (smiling) yeah, lets sit at the table
(we wait for Radha, who walks out, fills his plate)
M: yaar, sirf rice liya usne, chappati leta toh aur mazaa ata :)
me: Radha goes for refills, he doesn't fill his plate all at once.
R: (joins us and looks surprised to see us without our plates) guys?
me: Nothing's worth eating, we're going out.
R: kamino
me: Enjoy your slow death :)
me & M: hehe, tata
(Rags is not sure if we're going or would come back)
After we returned from lunch, Malto and I checked in the cafe if Radha needed some company from us, but they all had left already.
Meanwhile, Prasad returns and says that he went out for a good walk in Cubbon Park, followed by a delicious meal at Vrindavan. Moreover, after listening to the story, Prasad went and added fuel to fire by talking to Radha about it.
Radha's still furious and wanting to get back, but he'll be okay.... looks like he liked the food anyways! :)
me: I'm not feeling well enough to walk, lets eat some food here itself
R: (reluctantly... mumbling, joins us and goes for a wash; Rag joins in with his tiffin)
M: Have a look at the lunch!!!
me: Hmmm, nothing worth eating, lets go out. Where's Radha?
M: He's in the wash.
me: (bulb glowing) Lets go out after Radha fills his plate :)
M: (smiling) yeah, lets sit at the table
(we wait for Radha, who walks out, fills his plate)
M: yaar, sirf rice liya usne, chappati leta toh aur mazaa ata :)
me: Radha goes for refills, he doesn't fill his plate all at once.
R: (joins us and looks surprised to see us without our plates) guys?
me: Nothing's worth eating, we're going out.
R: kamino
me: Enjoy your slow death :)
me & M: hehe, tata
(Rags is not sure if we're going or would come back)
After we returned from lunch, Malto and I checked in the cafe if Radha needed some company from us, but they all had left already.
Meanwhile, Prasad returns and says that he went out for a good walk in Cubbon Park, followed by a delicious meal at Vrindavan. Moreover, after listening to the story, Prasad went and added fuel to fire by talking to Radha about it.
Radha's still furious and wanting to get back, but he'll be okay.... looks like he liked the food anyways! :)
Bulls and bears
Talking of shares in the last blog and breathing the Sensex/Nifty with daily dosages of arrhythmia, here's how worse the whole story could have been...
I do not know by what formula the market stocks map to points, so I can't really say that they will always remain in the positive (not to be funcused with *bullish*). I factually mean that there's a chance that the market points would go into the negative! As in, say, Sensex: -900; then the definition of *bearish* would fall short, so lets call it *boorish* instead! :)
When the markets are bull and your stocks go up, they pay you dividends, you're free to sell and you make profits; in bear markets, you make losses if you're able to still sell or you hold on longer in hope that you'll make money or atleast get your money back. You've a choice, that is.
However, I wonder in boorish markets, how would it be? There won't be a choice, perhaps. You can't sell, you can't even recover money, the shares are no longer yours... you owe the company more, in fact! They'll hunt you down and take money from ya or have your employer cut from your salary... we'll have boorish EMIs!
I do not know by what formula the market stocks map to points, so I can't really say that they will always remain in the positive (not to be funcused with *bullish*). I factually mean that there's a chance that the market points would go into the negative! As in, say, Sensex: -900; then the definition of *bearish* would fall short, so lets call it *boorish* instead! :)
When the markets are bull and your stocks go up, they pay you dividends, you're free to sell and you make profits; in bear markets, you make losses if you're able to still sell or you hold on longer in hope that you'll make money or atleast get your money back. You've a choice, that is.
However, I wonder in boorish markets, how would it be? There won't be a choice, perhaps. You can't sell, you can't even recover money, the shares are no longer yours... you owe the company more, in fact! They'll hunt you down and take money from ya or have your employer cut from your salary... we'll have boorish EMIs!
Blog shares
I was searching for something in my blog archives but found something more interesting instead: http://blogshares.com/blogs.php?checkid=1693271.
I didn't know that my blog is listed and up for sale ;)
I didn't know that my blog is listed and up for sale ;)
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