The great void... part II

In the past 2-3 months, surprising and shocking events have taken place in such rapid succession that I've lost sync with life; the whole existence is a dream right here, right now! Any doing seems meaningless... the talk, the act, eating, sleeping, breathing, everything. Even the reading or meditating or rituals or whatever, seem as too much of involvement. Its as if the body is dead weight, living is a tiresome effort, all the belongings are a wasteful accumulation. Every moment is thankfully discarded. The fights, the love, all of those opposite emotions are a bunch of meaningless things. The righteous and the evil are equally unimportant. The why remains unanswered and the why is no longer an interesting question since no answer will ever be convincing.

Living is a habit and no matter what the conditions, be it the crowded markets or lonesome whole, till the end, its not the end, however hard you try or give up.

Life has finally become the dark night of the soul. The movie has become a trailer and I'm no longer interested to even watch the movie, leave alone acting in it! What happens tomorrow or what went in the past is not a concern at all, even the now is a null that acts on its own, drags me with it, whether or not I want or need it... helplessly witnessing it in happiness and sadness, in anger or fear, all but just emotions. I have nothing to say, nothing to do, no matter what I seem to say or do. I want nothing, I need nothing, I have nothing, no matter what people say or think. My usual answer "I'm alive" to the question "How are you?" is no longer valid! Even the *I am* while being true, is looped into its own Self. I know I am, but even why am I?

The supreme silence
where the tears flow
without caring of
the high or the low

Merging in that
which is behind all facts
The bliss of which
nullifies all acts

The thoughts
driven meaningless
leave neither a talk
nor a path to walk

The act acts on its own
Self witnesses passively
not thinking why
or even stopping the try