The return to ab/normalcy, be it for whatever reason or lack of it, feels good. This happened last weekend when I was trying to analyse what is it that hurts and why is it that it does so. Or does it... at all? I don't know if I concluded but I do know that as much as elated phases of life help spiritual progress in the act of witnessing at one end, so do depressions at the other end of the spectrum! Needless to say, every other feeling is covered between them.
However, its also a fact that if all of these help the progress of a spiritual aspirant, they also serve as potential emotional traps.
Interestingly, its also true that what might seem emotional depth from outside to others, may not so feel at all to the enquirer, for whom, even progress is a full stop; and yes, a full stop a progress too!
Award-winning stupidity
Bangalore's traffic is managed by a bunch of jokers who have, in their infinite wisdom of course, blundered to create the worst-ever solution to a non-existing problem: a traffic signal on a flyover (Richmond Rd)! Ridiculous, but its true. I forgot to blog this a few months back when this stupidity was commited, but yesterday I went through a serious aftereffect of that. Its no longer a joke that you can laugh at; its pain in your already pinching traffic. Its an insult to the company that built the flyover!
I struggled through a bumper-to-bumper (what seemed like a bumper-on-bumper) traffic on the flyover, for half an hour. The "traffic police" were manhandling the problem that they created in the first place. After I got down the flyover to convince myself of "end of trouble zone", the barricades used as lane dividers (???!!!) soon corrected me by being on the road since it makes bikers' lives easy to switch directions of travel!
One day I'd seen a car taking, kind of a -- hold your breath now-- U-turn on the flyover from KH Rd to Mission Rd!!!!! Till some days back, I used to really laugh at all this having no option then. I think I should just continue laughing since I don't have an option now either... :)
I struggled through a bumper-to-bumper (what seemed like a bumper-on-bumper) traffic on the flyover, for half an hour. The "traffic police" were manhandling the problem that they created in the first place. After I got down the flyover to convince myself of "end of trouble zone", the barricades used as lane dividers (???!!!) soon corrected me by being on the road since it makes bikers' lives easy to switch directions of travel!
One day I'd seen a car taking, kind of a -- hold your breath now-- U-turn on the flyover from KH Rd to Mission Rd!!!!! Till some days back, I used to really laugh at all this having no option then. I think I should just continue laughing since I don't have an option now either... :)
Easier machines
I have always loved my part of life working with machines: be it biomedical equipment, other electronic gadgets, bike or car.
A few years back when I lost my sandals in the crowded temple on a festive day, I was soaking drenched from the downpour while riding my bike. On the way back home, changing gears on the Fiero barefoot drew an awesome relation, rains hardly mattered! It was like *feeling* the bike instead of just riding it. It was a completely different story then on... it was like talking to a close friend than just blabbering all over the place. It was like we understood each other! I tried this for a long time on the Wagon-R too and of course, it worked there. It left me with a little difficulty to wear shoes and drive later though!
That machines make better companions is an earlier conclusion from my working with L&T Medical. I'd refused to shift into marketing for more reasons, but one major point was not wanting to give up the technical relation.
Its much easier to associate with machines than with humans. (Perhaps, thats the reason, I'll always remain an engineer in some form even if I deny it!) Now, to think of it, don't people get pets for the exact same reason? Just a thought!
A few years back when I lost my sandals in the crowded temple on a festive day, I was soaking drenched from the downpour while riding my bike. On the way back home, changing gears on the Fiero barefoot drew an awesome relation, rains hardly mattered! It was like *feeling* the bike instead of just riding it. It was a completely different story then on... it was like talking to a close friend than just blabbering all over the place. It was like we understood each other! I tried this for a long time on the Wagon-R too and of course, it worked there. It left me with a little difficulty to wear shoes and drive later though!
That machines make better companions is an earlier conclusion from my working with L&T Medical. I'd refused to shift into marketing for more reasons, but one major point was not wanting to give up the technical relation.
Its much easier to associate with machines than with humans. (Perhaps, thats the reason, I'll always remain an engineer in some form even if I deny it!) Now, to think of it, don't people get pets for the exact same reason? Just a thought!
Hats off to the Germans!
Before anyone starts guessing stuff, I'm praising the attitude of the German engineering. Yesterday, finally, my dream came true: I bought a 1997 Opel Astra! The first page of the car's manual is a how-to on "Environment friendly driving".
I always wanted to own an Opel for atleast a while. I wasn't ever budgeting for a Skoda Octavia, but I'd thought of Opel Corsa earlier. After having driven Rag's Corsa... the "achtung baby", I wanted more and Astra gives more, so there! :)
(My Wagon-R is up for sale, but as on today, I feel *rich* owning two cars (... er, and a bike ;)
I always wanted to own an Opel for atleast a while. I wasn't ever budgeting for a Skoda Octavia, but I'd thought of Opel Corsa earlier. After having driven Rag's Corsa... the "achtung baby", I wanted more and Astra gives more, so there! :)
(My Wagon-R is up for sale, but as on today, I feel *rich* owning two cars (... er, and a bike ;)
Thoughts 1-3
1. Death is the only truth of life.
2. (Corollary) Life is a state of the mind.
3. The past is lost.
2. (Corollary) Life is a state of the mind.
3. The past is lost.
Quote unquote 11-12
11. The obstacle is the path --Zen saying (quoted by Harish)
My take: (And) The journey is the reward --Steve Jobs
12. Be kind whenever possible. Its always possible --Dalai Lama
My take: (And) The journey is the reward --Steve Jobs
12. Be kind whenever possible. Its always possible --Dalai Lama
Setbacks
Life never fails to surprise me... nay, shock me with its setbacks. Every such event is harsher than the earlier one and if you haven't learnt from the previous event to make yourself a little stronger, then you're shattered. Not that otherwise, things don't hurt at all; they do. But they're just lessons. They're things you "pass through", to express in words borrowed from Smita.
Every time anything like that happens, I break my head and cry my heart out, until I realize I've lost all that I've got to lose: nothing!
Goodness gracious!
Every time anything like that happens, I break my head and cry my heart out, until I realize I've lost all that I've got to lose: nothing!
Goodness gracious!
Needs and wants
Wants, not needs, make life tick. Needs are barely food, clothing and shelter for survival. What we all need more than that are not needs, as they're projected; they are wants! Now what are needs needed for anyway? To stay alive, right? But there's more than staying alive to life and thats where we trap ourselves. What the heck am I talking here? I'll try to clarify. What I'm going towards is whether there are bigger wants that make up craved desires or even needs are desires!
They say that lusting for the opposite gender is the biggest craving for anyone. Call it a basic animal instinct. But is it really true or is it make believe? Its easier to say that thats how God meant it to be or thats how everyone is. All that is mere hoot, nothing else. Imagine a person on his/her deathbed fighting to survive in the peaks of young age. Can such a person lust? No. S/he's busy loving life... wanting more life. Agreed, if there's more life left, one might still lust! But all that lust, need, want, etc is over the basic substratum of craving-for-life!!! First and foremost love of a person is one's own life. This life gives out many other things much later.
Wanting to help others, or to set a free country and all that there is to call selfless service too, comes only if the person performing the service is alive. That being alive is the love of life. Thats the first habit of man. Thats the first craving. Thats the first want. Thats the first need. It could well be the last one too... only if we knew that there's no craving for anything if there's no craving to stay alive! No, I'm not talking suicide here. All I'm saying is fear of death causes love for life. Love for life causes many other endless needs and wants that one realizes close to death to be of no value. Thats a shame!
They say that lusting for the opposite gender is the biggest craving for anyone. Call it a basic animal instinct. But is it really true or is it make believe? Its easier to say that thats how God meant it to be or thats how everyone is. All that is mere hoot, nothing else. Imagine a person on his/her deathbed fighting to survive in the peaks of young age. Can such a person lust? No. S/he's busy loving life... wanting more life. Agreed, if there's more life left, one might still lust! But all that lust, need, want, etc is over the basic substratum of craving-for-life!!! First and foremost love of a person is one's own life. This life gives out many other things much later.
Wanting to help others, or to set a free country and all that there is to call selfless service too, comes only if the person performing the service is alive. That being alive is the love of life. Thats the first habit of man. Thats the first craving. Thats the first want. Thats the first need. It could well be the last one too... only if we knew that there's no craving for anything if there's no craving to stay alive! No, I'm not talking suicide here. All I'm saying is fear of death causes love for life. Love for life causes many other endless needs and wants that one realizes close to death to be of no value. Thats a shame!
Switching moods, am I?
I'm tired of talking, trying to justify all sorts of things using all sorts of nonsense to all sorts of people. I give up. More than one friend has suggested in this week: "These things are best left undisclosed". I think my publicizing worked against me; I should've known better than risking less. I should have risked nothing or everything. There are no calculated risks in life... an engineer knows how calculations never tally in practice... moreover, in the end, one surely makes losses!
My current mood is expressed best by one of U2's song:
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name
I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
My current mood is expressed best by one of U2's song:
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name
I want to feel sunlight on my face
I see the dust cloud disappear
Without a trace
I want to take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
Where the streets have no name
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